for when you feel like your half-bathroom

There's a little room in our house that gets used frequently. It's not our kitchen. Or our den. Not our bedrooms or the playroom. It's tucked away. You have to go through our laundry room to get there.

It's our half-bathroom.

This little tucked away space provides so much more than the obvious reasons one would use a bathroom. It's a place for experiments for the boys. The sink comes in handy for those! The boys tell me the bathroom is a wonderful place to read as well! ;) The boys use it to fill Glory's water bowl and to wash their hands after school and before dinner.

I use it, to retreat. If only for a few minutes. I head there to talk to my sister on the phone when our house is so loud and I can't hear her. I head there to discuss plans with Hubby that we aren't ready for the littles to hear. Or, for those times I call him at work and tell him that one little did such and such and I don't know how to handle it! Sometimes it's a place to cry. Sometimes it's a place to breathe. Sometimes it's a place to simply check Instagram!

And I was thinking yesterday, that this bathroom reminds me of myself. And maybe you too? Just take a look. . . Towels are, often, barely hanging on, there are footprints or smudge prints on the cabinets from when a boy tries to jump up to the sink instead of using the stool. There are footprints or smudge prints on the stool from when it does get used. The trash can is often used and often forgotten. Books are strewn across the floor. Random toys get left on the counter. And the paint on the walls is in desperate need of a touch up.

You know those days or months or maybe even years when you feel like you are barely hanging on? Does it sound familiar to walk around with smudge marks on your clothes or maybe on your heart? Sometimes you feel used or forgotten or never really noticed. Often times you find that random things clutter your mind taking your focus off of your purpose in life. And wow, don't we all need a new coat of paint?

Well, that new coat of paint for us, is grace from the Lord. He doesn't need us. He can do His plan on His own. But he loves us and uses us despite our smudges and shortcomings. Even when we are hanging on for dear life, and probably especially when we are hanging on for dear life, He extends grace to us. We can head to the hardware store in hopes of making ourselves fresh and shiny and new. We can treat ourselves like a DIY project. But only His love and grace and forgiveness can provide us with that new coat of paint we are all longing for!

Amen!

If you don't know where you are going | Day 28

My dad likes to find every opportunity to use the saying, "When you don't know where you are going, any road will get ya there!" It's become a thing in our bigger family to predict when he's going to use it in conversation and to join right in!

And it's so true. We are always moving through life. There is no stopping. Just because we don't know what's ahead, doesn't mean we aren't going to get to what's ahead.

People are always talking about their 5 or 10 year plans. Or those big dreams they have for the future. I tend to struggle with those questions. I really don't know what I want life to look like in 5 or 10 years.

But I can tell you this, though I may not know exactly where I'm going, or what I will be doing, I want to be on a road with the Lord. I want Him lighting my path. He will get me where I am going and He already knows where that will be.

4 boys + 1 man = the lights of my life | Day 25

Life isn't always perfect. Sometimes, life is hard. But I recently heard it said, that if life is hard, but the relationships in your life are good, then really, life is good. But if life is good and your relationships are bad, then really, life is bad.

I'm thankful my life is good. Not without problems, or issues to be worked through, but good. The Lord is faithful and never leaves us and he has blessed me with a husband who is the same. Faithful and loving. He has made our quiver full, and even when life with 4 boys seems so loud and crazy, we wouldn't change it for anything! Even when Hubby and I work through difficult times, the Lord brings us out stronger. I would not want to do life without my man!

Thank you Lord, for my boys and my man--my pumpkins!

The lights of my life!

I love my family!

I am truly blessed!

we are lightweights | Day 16

You know those days when you feel like you just. can't. do. it? I do. My husband does. And sometimes? Sometimes even our little boys feel it.

We can feel overwhelmed. We can feel discouraged. We can feel like failures in all of our sin.

I've been praying recently that the Lord will show me my sin. Because honestly, I can go through a day thinking I'm pretty good and pat myself on the back. But I miss or justify the way I speak to my children or my husband. Or, I let bitterness grow because someone hasn't called to check on us and then I do the same thing in response. Or I allow envy and pride to invade my heart, but sweep it away with thoughts like, "It's okay to feel this way, you're his Mommy. Of course you want him to be noticed."

All of it is sin. Period.

But, take heart!!

Psalm 73:26 says,

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

We mess up daily. We will stumble again tomorrow. But God is our portion and He holds us through it all. He is the strength of our heart and no matter how heavy our hearts are, we are lightweights compared to His strength. He is strong enough to carry us all!

So when we are overwhelmed, tuckered out, or discouraged by our sins, we can know that the Lord is our strength and all we need. He loves us!

not light | Day 13

If I'm being honest, I'm not feeling really light right now. We got home late last night from a wonderful weekend in Waco, TX, where we watched our Baylor Bears come from behind to beat TCU in a fashion that has the entire sports world buzzing! And we were buzzing too! The weekend was such fun and our boys had a blast! So many people asked us if we were taking our entire family to Waco for the long weekend. Of course we were!

But now we are back and I'm exhausted. Because the boys had off of school today, all four of them came to the grocery store with me. I usually only go with my younger two, who are sitting sweetly in a grocery cart. But today wasn't like that, and my boys were most definitely not feeling tired, in fact, quite the opposite. And that's kinda funny to me because one of them fell asleep on the bathroom floor last night, just after using the bathroom before bed. We arrived around 10 and they were tuckered. But, that was last night. 

Anyway, after a morning of OT for Way, and a doozy of a therapy, which essentially told me that I need to get to work with Way (in the most encouraging way), where I didn't take it so lightly, and then the grocery store with all four (where the older boys almost flipped our cart over with Way in it), I'm just not feeling light. Oh, and it's pouring down rain outside, so it's not so light out there either.

But all hope is not lost. I've made some tea and I'm baking brownies for my small group of girls coming over tonight. Oh, and I declared pizza night and my husband is wisely so sweetly, not arguing! :)

heavy eyelids | Day 9

From the moment you announce you are pregnant, everyone you know starts throwing out tidbits and pieces of advice about raising a baby!

You hear things from your best friend's experience and from your great aunt who raised 8 of your mom's cousins back in the day. Helpful hints range from "Never wake a sleeping baby!" to "Just bounce him on your hip, while swaying side to side and whispering shh, shh, shh and that'll do the trick!" You have showers that shower you with items you've never seen before and don't know how to use, and you walk away more excited about a simple blanket than you ever thought you would be!

Really, it's all bliss! You are so excited and busy dreaming of the sweet little angel that's about to be in your arms. And truly, when that happens, it's a miracle!

You come home from the hospital with your new baby wrapped up tight and you are mesmerized! So is everyone else! This new little life is amazing! You may even be blessed with friends and family bringing you meals! You get to feed your baby and someone else is feeding you! The adrenaline has kicked in and you think life is perfection!

And then, the adrenaline wears off. You are working hard to keep your baby fed! Maybe he's sleeping through feedings and waking him is nearly impossible. Or maybe he's not sleeping at all.

Of course, that's to be expected. Everyone knows newborns don't sleep through the night. And sometimes, newborns turn into 6 month old babies who still aren't sleeping through the night. There's no way for newborn parents to prepare for lack of sleep. Oh, sure, you are prepared for soiled clothes, and diaper rashes. You are armed with swaddle blankets and sound machines. You have baby swings and paci's and everything a parent could need for a brand new baby. Except sleep. You can't stockpile sleep.

But you can store up God's Word. He gives us the strength we need for each day. And when we aren't sleeping, we need it! So for those who have just become or are about to be new mommies, I thought I'd share one of my favorite Bible verses to keep your heart strong and light when your eyelids are heavy. . .

 

Remember this. You may feel like the weight of the world is on you. But you are light and not a burden to Him. He is strong and He will carry you! And for those of you who are not parents of newborns, this verse still applies. We are His lambs just as much as our children are! So thankful He is my Shepherd!

right now. . .

Right now I'm . . .

sitting. . .on my back porch. . .by myself.

drinking. . .a salted caramel mocha. On Monday, I opted not to treat myself to a Starbucks happy because I looked ahead at the weather and decided this rainy day would be better suited for that treat. Good call.

listening. . .to the pouring rain hit the leaves on the trees in front of me--nature's soothing sound machine. It's no wonder that every man made sound machine has a rain setting.

dreaming. . .about traveling the world and serving the Lord at every stop. A year long mission trip? A chance to teach our boys that our city and country are not the only places in need, but that God's people are all over and people all over need God!

remembering. . .this day, 13 years ago, and how one day changed our country, our world.

praying. . .for those who lost loved ones that day and for those across the world losing loved ones today. There is so much pain, but there is so much hope--which conquers all. My friend Betsy wrote about hope today here. Perfect reminder for this day and every day, Betsy!

reading. . .Colossians 3:12-14 which says, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against one another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

and reflecting. . .on how I was a spit-fire this morning. Certainly not living out these verses. I was frustrated with my children for interrupting each other. I yelled at one of my boys for teaching an ugly word to his brother and found out he actually didn't teach the word to his sibling, but a friend did. I was whining and nagging them about using words that glorify the Lord, all the while I was using a tone that did the opposite. 

thanking. . .God for His forgiveness and the boys' and Hubby's forgiveness as well. And for the time to sit and listen and pray and give thanks.

God is good. All the time.

DIY: Daring or disastrous?

I've decided that when a person sees this picture, he or she will fall into one of two categories. . .

A) Sweet!!! I'm on board! Let's do this!!

Or

B) Ummm. When do you think we are going to do this? Don't you think we should pay someone to do this?

Most of my life, I'd say I've fallen into Category B. Just a little hesitant to mess with something I don't know anything about. My hubby, on the other hand has all of the attitude in Category A, but a little of the mindset in Category B, because let's face it, working and then coming home to a house full of 4 energetic boys can wear a person out!

When we bought our first house, I wanted something relatively new. I didn't want an old house we'd have to work on constantly. Plus, I didn't really know what style I liked. The interior design aspect was the same. We had a mish-mosh of furniture from each of our previous places, plus hand-me-down furniture from our parents. None of the furniture was exactly our style.

Now though, after being married for 14 years, I think we've discovered our style and thankfully, we agree for the most part! We've also matured some and maybe grown in wisdom a little bit too. We know we can't tackle every home improvement task that comes our way. Either it's out of our budget and it needs to wait, or it's out of our wheelhouse and we need to hire someone to help us.

That being said, it's not like we can snap our fingers and have everything we've ever owned fixed up, refurbished or changed into our exact taste. We still have a mish-mosh of pieces (art, furniture, fixtures, etc).

However, we are feeling bold enough to make a start! I guess our real start into design came 2 years ago when we moved into our current house. It needed a kitchen remodel---some of the appliances were from the 60's and barely working. Plus the floor---yikes! So, we took our kitchen from this. . .

 and this

to our renovated kitchen which is this. . .

There are more details, but in actuality, this wasn't a DIY project. We most certainly had our contractor and his team do the work. We did, though, design it and since then we've developed more of a vision for design, but also an interest in DIY projects. Some that seemed completely unreasonable, now seem a little more do-able. I totally credit my sister and bro-in-law and of course, Fixer Upper on HGTV. No, my sister is not Joanna Gaines. That's a separate thought. And as much as I love Joanna Gaines, I love my Biffer even more!

So, I think we are going to venture into more home improvement projects, aka DIY projects, like this half-bath for example. . .

But, as always I'm keeping it real. I can speed dial our contractor in 2 seconds and I might need to as my first DIY project took place today. . .

I thought changing a wallplate from one color to another was easy-peasy. Got home, and realized I need the innards of the wallplate as well! Ahhhh, humility! But, it's still a start!

Your thoughts on DIY projects? Daring or disastrous?

growing in the heat

Summer is rapidly approaching its end for us. Actually, I feel like this summer was on a race to the end, since the beginning. We've had so. much. going. on. It wasn't a summer we're accustomed to, but a lot happened over the past couple of months, and we grew.

How we grow
Sometimes with growth, we see quick blooms. They are beautiful and we are thankful. Other times, growth comes after of period of being hard-pressed or intense heat or even a dry plateau.

I see this each year after I plant flowers in the pots on our front porch. The initial blooms are lovely and colorful! I water the flowers pretty regularly and they thrive. And then, somewhere in the middle of summer, they suffer through the intense heat and dry up. The blooms have to be dead-headed to make room for new blooms.

This summer has been exactly that for us. A little exhaustion and dry spell at the summer's beginning (coming off of Way's surgery and some other uncertainties) led to a beach vacation that provided some quick blooms. Summer took off with VBS and swim lessons and my trip to Kazakhstan, all of which provided growth for each of us. Then there was time at the lake, a camp, a trip to London, a retreat and we were blessed with more growth!

But the heat has been setting in and our weary blooms have been wilting a tad. I know the bright, purple blooms of our flowers on the front porch are coming, but we've had to be pruned and learn to cling to the Vine. School starts in a few days, Luke returns tomorrow (I'm sure jet-lagged from his first overseas trip), and a new routine is coming quickly!

Clinging to the vine
John 15 has been my focus the past few months. As we reach the end of a fun and exciting, yet tiring and challenging summer, I am reminded that I will not continue to grow and I cannot make it without Him. He's been dead-heading me and I need Him to satisfy my thirst and help me grow. My entire family does too. All of us do!

⁴ Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ⁵ I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. -John 15:4-5

 

We are not the Joneses.

Growing up, I was part of a pretty awesome family. We'd often say things like, "Who wouldn't want to be like our family?" or "We have the best family in the entire world!" To a little girl, it was dreamy! I had the best parents and sister (still do) and life was awesome!

Then one day, I grew up and got married! And eventually, we had children! I would stop and take a step outside our family looking back in and think, "Man! We have the perfect family! Who wouldn't want our family?" I felt thankful for what the Lord had blessed us with, and hoped to live up to what people wanted: to be like the Joneses (except we are the Jacksons).

Once I realized. . .
And then another day came, when we found out we were having a baby with Down syndrome. Though it was most definitely not my immediate thought, in the weeks after finding out our unborn baby would have Down syndrome, and imagining the thoughts running through people's minds, I landed on this. "Oh, so I guess people aren't going to want to "keep up with" us anymore." People aren't going to want to be us at all. I remember thinking, "people are just thankful that we are not them."

Well, praise the Lord those thoughts didn't last long! We have been incredibly blessed with our baby Way, just like we are blessed with our entire family!

But Way has changed me and so has the Lord! Though I've been a follower of Christ for decades now, it's just been in the last couple of years that my perspective on "perfect" has been altered. I truly see there is nothing perfect created by humans, this side of heaven. Only His plan is perfect! No one, not one family, has it all together. There are no Joneses out there. Only the illusion of the "perfect family."

No one is perfect!
Whoa! Debbie Downer am I? No, not at all!! In fact, I'm only hoping to encourage you! In a social media craving world, we are filled with posts and images of picture perfect lives. I know people who are leaving the social media scene because it makes them feel worse about themselves!

Stay with me here. I like social media, at least some forms. I love blogging and I love Instagram! I get great recipes and ideas from Pinterest, too! Occasionally, I'll even tweet, though usually I'm re tweeting something brilliant someone has shared! And while I believe everything should be used in moderation, I can say honestly, without feeling bad about it, I enjoy social media, and I don't think it's the enemy, BUT, I do think it's necessary for me to remember who and what is real! And, that no one is perfect! (All the English teachers out there just cringed because I started 2 sentences with "But" and 2 with "And." But, again, no one is perfect--even this former English teacher)!

So, why am I not turned off by social media? Because I know there are friends out there who are real and aren't afraid to show their less than perfect moments! Ones who don't need to post to feel better about themselves, but ones who are in the thick of parenting with me and share good laughs! I seek out those who are encouraging and who speak Truth. I play on social media as a creative outlet. I enjoy social media as an extra-bonus to relationships I already have, or to enjoy new ones. But I'm not seeking out the Joneses. I want real. Don't you?


 And because I truly desire to keep it real here in this little space . . .

 I just need you to know . . .
--I hardly ever iron. In fact, I almost wrote I never iron, but that would have been a lie, since I have once or twice before. . .(but if you know me, or my children in real life, then you probably already know this).

--I don't buy organic milk anymore and we have Cheez-Its in our pantry. I once did buy organic milk, but since our pediatrician doesn't buy into the organic way of life, I figured I'd save some money on the 8 gallons of milk our 4 boys drink a week.

--Sometimes, I choose to scroll through Instagram or blog feeds instead of reading my Bible.

--I despise crying in front of people. Yet, the Lord chose to make me a crier. If someone shows me they truly care, if I feel "safe", if I'm so beyond thankful, if I'm moved by something, if something is way too funny or way too sad or just downright joyful, Or, if there's music involved with babies, animals, families, mission work and really just about anything, I will cry. And, I will despise it. And then the moment will be over and I'll be laughing at something else. Thank goodness! ;)

--If you see a perfect picture on this blog, just know it probably took me at least 50 shots to get a post worthy one.

--Our children run in the hall at church, and often cause people to stare at us in Target, like they've just seen a circus for the first time!

--We still haven't filed our taxes.

--Just because you might see me in work-out clothes does not mean I have just worked out. Maybe I have, but it's likely they were comfy and I could be playing on the ground with my boys and I really don't care what I look like when I go to the grocery, or school pick-up, or Chick-Fil-A!

--I don't always say the right thing to my husband or children at the right time in the right tone. I mess up so often. I love them, and I try, but I don't always get it right.

--My scrapbooks for our first two children are as far as I've gotten. Our last two children don't have one. Maybe I'll make them one day, maybe I won't.

--We aren't even up to speed on the latest techy gadgets (gasp)!

I could go on for miles and miles telling you more. Maybe this isn't vulnerable enough for you, or maybe it's just right. You don't need all the nitty-gritty, but I want you to know that we are far from perfect! And so, if you feel less threatened by our "imperfectness" come hang around! We are all in this together!

We are not the Joneses.  

No one is perfect. Be encouraged by that! And realize. . .that is why we need our perfect Savior!

** Just to come around full circle. . .Though we know we do not have the perfect family, we do think we have the best little 6 person family in our house! And none of us would trade us! :) We are thankful and we are blessed!

guitar, counseling, life lessons and TSwift: an unexpected Wednesday night

So, I had a little bit of unexpected counseling last night from an unlikely source. I arrived at my guitar lesson ready to rattle off the myriad of reasons why I wasn't able to practice my guitar much over the past week. And as I was pulling out my guitar and sweating bullets that I was going to be in trouble for not cutting my fingernails this week, my guitar teacher did something strange.

Checking in.
He asked me how things were going. I literally opened my mouth, with nothing coming out, and blinked my eyes. I wasn't sure what he was really asking. I could take this answer in so many directions. And he could see that, so he politely narrowed it down to guitar. "How do you feel like guitar is going?" he asked. Still, I wasn't sure how to answer. I've been taking for a couple of months and he has been teaching me so much, but I'm not at a place where I want to be or even making much progress to where I want to be. I told him there is just so.much.going.on. and explained various things in our life. I told him I haven't been disciplined with practicing and quite honestly, I haven't been disciplined with much at all lately.

I'm just not able.
I've been struggling with not practicing my guitar as much as I want to, because I really want to, but also because I don't want to let him down as a teacher, or my sweet hubby down (because he gave me lessons as a Christmas gift) or my future-self down, because it's something I desire to have accomplished before our children are grown and out of the house! And so I've been bummed that I haven't made myself sit down and practice. But, the truth is, there hasn't been time, or if there has been, something else has taken priority, even if I haven't wanted it to. The same thing goes with exercise and organizing our house and cleaning out our carport closet and I don't know, but you name it and it's been tough.

And then the counseling began. My intuitive guitar teacher, proceeded to speak to my inner-self in a way I'm accustomed to my Bible Study girls, or other friends or my husband or family speaking to me. He told me, it's not that I'm not being disciplined, it's that I'm just not able, at this point in my life. And while that stings, it's comforting to hear at the same time. In fact, it was encouraging!

It's only for a season.
Why am I sharing about my guitar lesson/counseling session? Because, I needed that encouragement and maybe you do too! As my guitar teacher pointed out, we all have our "things" in life. My "things" are not yours, and your "things" are not mine, but we all have them. Maybe you just aren't able to do one more thing. Maybe your calendar is full. Maybe your wallet is empty. Maybe you have lots of littles that require your presence and don't have extra help. Maybe you just had a baby. Maybe you are just so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open.

Whatever your situation is, check in. Process a little and find out what is keeping you from saying yes, or taking that next step. Know yourself and figure out what you are able to do and unable to do. Once you acknowledge and accept your "thing" you may find yourself quite relieved! But also, be patient and give yourself grace. This is just for a season!

You wanna know how my never-been-married, middle-aged, classic rock, Beatles and Elvis-loving guitar teacher (and apparently counselor) ended our lesson? He played me my favorite Taylor Swift song! I'm thinking if I'm ever able to practice my guitar and I make it big one day, maybe I'll dedicate a song to him! ;)

so we will always remember right now. . .

My Sweet Boys--

I know that you enjoy looking through and reading my blog books that I have printed each New Year. You like to relive the memories or hear more details about some of the stories. And so I know that at some point, probably not until next January, you will read this. And while I hope that you know this, that you have heard me tell you this over and over again, I also know that at your ages 8, nearly 6, 3 and 19 months, you either don't quite understand yet, or you have so much to do and play, that you aren't eager to just sit and listen to me pour out my heart. So, I will write just a piece of my love for you down, here. So we will always remember right now.

Luke, you are my teacher. You amaze me with all that you learn and retain! This gift of learning comes naturally for you and it's wonderful to watch. And, what you learn, you are thrilled to teach. I love learning from you! But you know what? You don't just teach me marine animals or birds of prey or spy methods or books that you are immersed in, you teach me about life. When you set your mind to do something, you follow through. You dream. You genuinely care about other people's feelings and you don't want them to be hurt. Luke, you are learning how to treat people and you love them well. You accept people for who they are and you are one of the most forgiving people I know. Lukey, at 8 years old, you have so much to teach the world! I want to be more like you when I grow up! :) I love you!

Charlie, you are my encourager. I watch you work so hard at things, whether it's school, sports, etc. and I am encouraged by your determination and your heart. You will quietly and humbly (with that bashful smile) accept our praise and love, but what seems even more important to you, is showing others love. And it melts me--your ability to see when people are hurting (physically or emotionally). You never want to hurt anyone's feelings and will always offer to ride with someone so they won't be alone, or sit by someone for the same reason. You ask me how my day was and offer to help in the kitchen. You tell me that I'm doing a good job or that I look pretty! You will play with a brother who needs some love. Char, you encourage me with your ability to care for others and I love you!

Miles, you are my cheer. Your enthusiasm for life is contagious! Your energy is endless! You have never met a stranger and you have mastered the art of conversation. You are the most outwardly loving of the bunch with the hugs and kisses you give to us all. You tell me everyday, "I love being with my Mommy!" and feel the same way about your Daddy and brothers too. You smile and laugh so much that if ever you aren't smiling or laughing, I know something is wrong. Your love and compassion for others makes my heart soar! Miles, you make me happy every single day. I love you!

Way, you are my peace. When the world is crazy and sometimes I'm just too frazzled, I can snuggle you up in my arms and everything disappears. You are content and so happy. Just a smile or hello from any of us and you beam--which of course makes me beam! The simplest act of rocking you in my arms singing Twinkle, Twinkle or Jesus Loves Me is the most calming part of my day. Just kissing your cheeks and breathing you in slows my heart rate and honestly, just turns me to the Lord every time! Way, you are love, joy and peace rolled into a perfect and precious gift! I love you!

And sweet boys--always remember that the Lord made you this way. You are not self-made. You are God's design and His creation and though it's hard for your Mommy and Daddy to comprehend this, Jesus loves you even more than we do! Nothing you ever do will change that! So be confident in who you are, and Whose you are! You are all treasures to us!

--Love, Mommy

grace in the midst of clutter

I have lots of people ask me how I find time to blog. Clearly over the past week, I haven't! But usually, it's not a struggle to find time, because it's something I want to do. I love to write and record memories, but over the years, this blogging thing has become a sort of therapy for me! Gotta clear thoughts from my head and really I just want to share and encourage and keep it real . . .

So how's this shot for keeping it real?

Really, this shot doesn't do our cluttered counters any justice! Ha! The de-cluttering process has taken a backseat to cuddling sick babies, therapies, errands, park play dates, etc. Real life, real people have taken over and I'm okay with it. Do I like not being able to see my counters? No! I can only put up with it for so long and then everybody better watch out, because I start letting people know things are heading to the trash if it's not put up. And then, it's amazing! My littles' move like a fire was lit under them! Not to just blame them though, I create clutter too.

There was once a time when I would frantically clean before people were coming over. I was scared of what they would think if our house was a mess. My mom has always been this way too. And it is nice and welcoming to go into someone's nice clean house. If they don't have kids. If they do have kids and the house is spotless, I have to wonder. (Make sure you have some friends who don't clean before you come over. How wonderfully relaxing it is!)

But seriously, I remember a day when I was growing up. We must have had people coming over or a big party to get ready for. My mom was busy tidying up and a little stressed about it. My dad said, "Babe. We live here. People will know it's a house that is lived in. It's okay!" I'm not sure it helped my mom at that moment, but I know it did in her heart. AND, I know it has in mine. 

Does that mean I want to live in filth and junk? Absolutely not. There's something calming to my soul to have things in their right places. But do I need to tend to babies and meals and homework and eye contact above perfection? Yes. And so I give myself grace occasionally. Actually, I've been giving myself a little more grace than usual lately. It's okay.

You should feel free to do the same. Go play with your babies or return phone calls or make your meals and ease up on yourself. You'll get to it. Spring-cleaning time will be here soon!

How Christmas lights + Valentine's Day = speaking love to your husband!

Are you a little relieved that Valentine's Day is over?  Me too.

I must say that I do love "Love Day" but this year wore me out. With the several trips to Target, buying Valentine's cards for 3 of our boys classrooms, as well as providing snacks for 2 of the classrooms, I was just spent. And of course, I wanted to make Valentine's cards for the boys and give them a "heart attack" (I was up late sticking hearts on their door with messages of why they are special to us) and arrange their little "happies" on the dining room table to greet them at breakfast! We do these things to shower love on our littles. We want them to know they are loved. It's just that all of it just tuckered me out this year.

But what about our husbands? The man in our life. Do you go all out for him? Did you make sure he knew that you loved him? Or had you spent all of your energy elsewhere? Sometimes we get caught up in providing for and taking care of our children that we forget to show our husbands love too. Or perhaps, we get wrapped up in Valentine's and the commercial side of the holiday and just expect him to do the showering of the love.  

Sometimes, we tend to think it's all about us. Trust me, this is not intended to put anymore guilt on you than you already put on yourself. If you are a Mommy, you know what I mean. Instead, I want to be encouraging, because I know I've done that too. Stay with me.

My hubby was out of town for Valentine's Day. He left a couple of days before Heart Day. And you know, I didn't even think to stick a love note in his suitcase before he left. But he did think to melt me from a distance and sent me a bouquet of roses AND a little blue box! My hubby isn't a mushy-feely-emotional type of guy, but he knows I am a mushy-feely-emotional girl, and he knows things to do that are sentimental or that I appreciate or that translate to love for me. Sometimes for me, because he isn't built like me, it's hard to think of how I can show him I love him. So, you wanna  know what I did?

I put away the Christmas lights! WOW!! Amazingly romantic, right? Here's how it went down.

The other day, my friend was dropping off our boys from school and we were chatting in the front yard. The boys were on the porch and I noticed, yet again, that our 6 long strands of Christmas lights were still in piles on our porch. Hello? It's mid-February. It's definitely not the first time I noticed them. I usually check the mail everyday. Our children come home from school through our front door 2 out of 5 days a week, not to mention having friends drop by or deliveries during the day. I've seen those Christmas lights every single day since they were taken down before New Years. Still in piles.

Why haven't I done anything about them until now? I'll tell you. Because I am selfish. See, one of my Christmas tasks is to decorate the inside of our house at Christmas, including putting the lights on our Christmas tree. Hubby's job is to put the Christmas lights up outside our house (amongst other things). But because I put the tree lights up and take them down, I expect him to take the Christmas lights down and put them away. But this year, they were taken down and left in piles on our front porch. There was a good reason they were left there that day, I'm sure. He was probably busy being the wonderful Daddy that he is and thought he'd get to them later. And then life got busy. Sometimes other things take priority.

But then later came and I looked at the piles and thought, I'll wait for him to do it. It's his job.How many times could I have already done it? Lots. But I was selfish. Not pretty.

So, when my friend and I were talking, and I confessed to her why the piles of Christmas lights were still there, I decided right then, that this would be an act of service out of love for my husband. A Valentine's present to him, while he was out of town!

Please don't hear what I'm not saying. Please hear we need to love on our husbands. Most of the time, that comes by showing them respect. That will look different for your husband, or fiance than it will for mine. It's vital that you try to figure out what that looks like though. After 13+ years of marriage, I'm still trying to nail down what that is. I know it can look different at different stages, but I know that being respectful and serving him and listening to my husband is how I speak love to him.

Are you "speaking" love to your husband? 

If you missed the mark on Valentine's Day, every day is really a day to love. Keep trying! 

I bet he will accept your love any and every day of the year!

 Sweet Hubby--I love you! Thank you for loving me even when I fail to show you love the way you need it most! Thank you for serving our family and "speaking" love to ALL of us! We are beyond blessed to have you as the man in our lives! Thank you for loving our Lord and for teaching us to love like him. Still Always. . .

Dear (future) daughters-in-law,

Dear (future) Daughters in Law,

It's been a week. You know, a week. I know you've had them. Maybe after surviving your first semester, freshmen year in college, and then you return back to campus and think "I'm going to make it!" but it turns out you find yourself in a puddle of tears, missing your family, and you don't actually think you are going to make it.

Or maybe it was as you found yourself planning your wedding and you just couldn't agree on a guest list with your parents or a budget or anything and to top it off your future mother-in-law was driving you crazy (though I pray that will not be the case)!

I don't know what they've been about, but I know you have had those weeks where your heart breaks and you are just trying to hold on. It's part of life and it's rough.

I've had one of those weeks this past week. For me, it's been about my boys--one of the men you are now married to. I've been filled with fear and worry about almost all of them, over something, this past week. Not little things, but big things. Issues that I hope have past and been long forgotten as you read this. Nothing that needs to be brought up here. In fact, you may already know about these things and maybe they are like a drop in the bucket and no big deal. I am praying that daily now.

What I want you to know, though, is that if we aren't given "these weeks" it's impossible to rely on the Lord. It's difficult to rely on His strength. Why? Because sometimes, when all is going smoothly, you tend to think, "Hey! Look at me! I've got this! I can do this!" Or maybe you aren't that brazen but instead you find yourself grasping tightly and clinging on to something or someone because you think you are in control.

But you aren't. He is. And when the Lord uses "these weeks" in your life, it's His way of reminding you to look up to Him, not out at the troubled waters. I was reading from the Bible, in Mark 4 today, about Jesus' disciples being filled with fear when a great storm approached their boat. I sat on Jesus' words, "Peace! Be still!" as he commanded the winds and waves of the storm to stop. I thought, Yes! That's what I need! To hear Jesus telling me, "Peace! Be still!" But that wasn't all of the story.

He then asked his disciples, in verse 40, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And that's what really hit me. In my fears (rational or not) this past week, how have I been handling things? Certainly not with the faith I'd like to. But that little parable, one I've heard hundreds of times, was new to me again today. And I am thankful. Thankful that there will be storms, and that He is always with us!

So, dear daughter-in-law, when you've had one of those weeks. . .

 Trust in Him.   Read His Word.   Have faith.

Love, 

Lindley

KwitchyerbellyaKin

There's a sign that hangs over a doorway in our den that reads

I can't tell you how many people have stared at the needlepoint sign that used to hang in my grandparents house and asked me if it's German and what it means, but it has been a lot! And in case you are stumped, I'll translate for you. . .

Quit Your Belly Achin'

aka

Stop Your Whining and Complaining

Oh my stars, how we preach this at our house! Not a day goes by when we aren't saying to one of our littles, "Ah, ah, ah! Watch that complaining!" Or "You've just lost that privilege because you were complaining." Our children even recognize whining in themselves and each other. Just the other day Charlie said to me, "Oh Mommy, he sure does sound like the Israelites grumbling and complaining!" And it drives me crazy to hear our boys complaining and to think about how their hearts seem so ungrateful (at times). But you know what? I do it too.

And when I think about how I complain, it makes me sick. I'm busy whining and complaining about our lack of snow, or complaining and nagging our boys to keep their room clean. It bums me out when my hubby travels, or when I cannot find any time to organize our crazy house and I wind up grumbling about it. The other half of my time, I probably don't even recognize my ways of complaining.

So, when I was sitting on our couch last night and I looked up and saw those words that had me mesmerized as a little girl, I thought about how my grandparents had them hung in their house as a reminder and a little bit of encouragement, even if you say "KwitchyerbellyaKin" with a little sass!

In Philippians 2:14-15, we are told to ^"14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, ¹⁵ that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."

Needless to say, I'm not perfect, and none of us are, nor will be this side of heaven. But, one way I've found to combat complaining is to make a gratitude list by writing down my blessings and things I'm thankful for. Our 8 year old is interested in starting a thankful journal too! If you haven't read Ann Voskamp's, One Thousand Gifts, I highly recommend it. She speaks Truth and nails the reason we are grumblers. It all started, In the beginning. . .

Be encouraged and be thankful!

It makes sense.

Yesterday I walked into a department store to replace make-up that had been used up. I glanced in the mirror on the counter and saw dark areas under my eyes. The lady helping me told me my make-up had run under my eyes. What? Why? How? She explained that if I use an eye cream in the mornings, I need to take time and let it dry before putting on my make-up, or it would inch down.

My initial reaction was, Yeah, right. As a mom, I don't have a lot of time these days to let my make-up dry. I'm lucky to get a shower and even put make-up on before making breakfast and fixing lunches, finding shoes and tying them and herding my littles to the car so they aren't late for school! I'm busy taking care of my family. All of that inner dialogue from someone telling me to take care of myself!

But, it makes sense. The need to take time. The need to take time to take care of ourselves.

When I think about how I take care of myself, I find myself thinking about how I increased my emotional-health with the piece of chocolate I just ate. Instead, I'd like to make a list of things that I can do to help more than my "emotional" health. Say, drinking more water each day, going for a run, or hey, even a walk? Preparing fruit for myself, in addition to my children or washing my face at night would also be on my list. But my biggest challenge would be to go to bed earlier. It's a Struggle with a capital S for me.

I didn't make any resolutions for the New Year. I chose a word for the year, brave. I think I'll be brave now and maybe even bold to say I need to focus a little more on my physical health. It's really easy for me to find excuses to not do any of the things I mentioned. Sometimes it feels selfish to think about taking care of ourselves. We have others to think about and take care of. But if we aren't taking care of ourselves, we are taking care of the bodies the Lord gave us.

So, I'm putting it out there. I'm making my list. I mean, I didn't say I'd run a half-marathon. How hard can this be?

Anybody making a list with me? Would you be brave and share it?

Word.

Photo description

Word bubble: bottles and cups begging to be in the dishwasher

Green arrow: pointing to my awesome mixer covered in flour and cookie dough

Pink arrow: pointing to a pizza box--because that's how we rolled tonight

White arrow: pointing to my Coke--because that's what fueled me on!

Red arrow: pointing to a Sunday school craft Miles just brought to the counter of chaos!

All of that in addition to the ingredients for making cookies and a Lightning McQueen hanging out!

Kitchen chaos.  

This is real life, people!

Word. As in Oh, my word. I mean, this photo does not do justice to the way my kitchen looked last night. But I'll give you a little insight to this mess.

It was Christmas cookie baking afternoon. After Miles, Way and I picked up big brothers from school, we headed to the grocery store for one item I was missing from our ingredients. Oh, how I wish it was safe to leave the children in the car for 5 minutes for a quick run-in, but it's not, so we all traipsed in. And, I left exhausted--from a mere 5 minutes with everyone in the store! This was after we stopped at the drug store to find the reindeer antlers and nose for our car that Miles has been so sweetly asking for. Every car we pass that looks like Rudolph sends him into giggles, saying, "That car is so crazy Mommy! Hahahaa! We should make our car so crazy!" How do you resist that?

Anyway, after making it home and getting the ingredients out, I find out I was missing yet another key ingredient to our cookies--flour. Sooo, since it was a balmy 65 degrees, I sent the boys out to play and I debated texting my neighbor with a 2 week old to see if I could borrow some flour, because I sure was not going back to the store! Thankfully, she's awesome, and I scored some flour!

And so the baking began and was of course interrupted by life and 4 littles asking thousands of questions and needing one thing after another. Things got delayed, and dinner was pushed back, so we ordered a pizza and watched Frosty Returns. But that was not any good, so we had to follow it with the original Frosty, to make things right with the world!

The boys got to bed a smidge late, and this was how my kitchen looked after putting them down, not usually something I'd be thrilled with, but last night, although exhausted, I'd say I was content.

Hoping in the midst of your Christmas season chaos, in your real-life, you are able to find yourself content!

Right now . . .

Right now . . .

I'm smelling . . . heaven. No, not chocolate or popcorn or a warm fire, but H.e.a.v.e.n. --which is our Christmas tree. I really think this year's tree might be our most fragrant tree ever! It's beautiful too, a touch misshapen at the top (just like we like it) and too tall for our den (our star doesn't fit at the top, so it's perched on a branch below). BUT, it's losing needles and I'm hoping it can hang on for another good two weeks!

I'm eating . . .Pita chips and drinking hot chocolate for lunch. No, not a lunch of champions, but a lunch that's quick, tasty and a bonus of being an adult!

I'm listening . . .to yard workers. Believe me, I am thankful for them clearing the 8, 000,000 leaves we have down in our yard, but EVERY single time we splurge and hire yard workers, EVERY single time they come, it's during nap time. Miles is the one who can't sleep during loud leaf blowers outside his window. I mean who can? Oh wait, Baby Waybe can! He is such an awesome sleeper, that he's not phased by yard workers, or by riding in Target shopping carts either. . .obviously.

I'm creating . . . Christmas lists. Yes, I know it's December 10th. Probably most of you have started shopping or may even be finished. But I haven't really made a dent. However, I have seen this and LOVE it! Perfect for all of my boys--we love Memory--and that you can personalize this? Yes!! Click here if you want to add this to your list too!

And now I'm. . . off to get carpool!

a thankful mess

We've been kind of a mess the last couple of days. But that's life, right? A little sickness has made it's way back into our home. Sinus infections and fever, nothing too serious, but things that make you feel like crawling into bed and sleeping them away. That, and Hubby's grandfather passed away last night. I usually don't really address things like this in my little space, because I like talking in person about these things, but then this hasn't happened too often with us. It is a sad time for our family, but a joyful time too. We know all about his strong faith in the Lord--one that has encouraged Chad and me in so many ways. His devotion to Grandmom was like nothing I've seen before. What an example they have been for our marriage! So while he will definitely be missed here on Earth, we rejoice that we will be seeing him in heaven!

And on the note of being thankful, because we are called to be thankful in everything. . .I've joined with my friend, (and fellow Baylor alum) Liz, of Lark and Bloom, on Instagram to post a something I am thankful for each day during this month of Thanksgiving.

This is how she snagged me. . .wanna join us?

And if you aren't on Instagram, the first four days of November I've been thankful for. . .

God's beauty--sunlight and leaves on fire. . .

a fun Saturday and time to soak up my precious buddies

a beautiful worship service at our church led by the Getty's

and comfort food

God is good. I'm so thankful!

And maybe I can get in the groove and get a November header up! And Disney pics. And birthdays, and. . .lots of catching up to do too! Hang tight!