my apology to Summer

"They" say one should never apologize to her readers after a long absence. One is supposed to just jump back in and write like she never left.

However, it's hard to just jump back in after being gone from this space for 5 months! That's my longest hiatus yet! There are a myriad of reasons, but I'll be honest that the instant and quick part of Instagram has pulled me there. I love the artistic side of Instagram that challenges me through snippet writing and photography in a totally different way than writing a blog post does. However, there are just some stories that are missing here and as Summer has pulled up and settled in, I thought I'd make a comeback. It turns out that Summer might deserve the apology!

My hubby likes to call the summer our golden time of the year. It's definitely our sweet spot! I truly, with all of my heart, love having our boys home with me! I'm in a season of learning more about myself and my husband and our littles and it is good. And what I've learned about myself or at least have been reminded of is that I like white space on my calendar and the freedom to do what we want when we want to! And summertime for us, is exactly that!

We don't fill up ALL the days with camps or activities. We just sort of let summer happen to us. There are some days we plan activities and we'll throw an art or soccer camp in there, too. And if we are lucky, we will get to the beach! But, the non-rushing, open-ended days are dreamy!

I feel like I know my children again. It's hard when they are in school, come home with homework or head off to practice. We eat and people head to bed. It's just tougher to connect with them during the school year. They have so many more people in their lives affecting and influencing them--things I miss and don't witness, and sometimes they feel like little aliens. We definitely have to be more intentional during the school year to still connect with our boys. And that's life. I know.

But, here we are now, in the middle of June! Ahhhh, Summer! You grow on me each year. You woo me with beautiful hydrangeas and red, juicy watermelon. Your cicadas and fireflies that sing and dance at dusk cause me to breathe in deep and sigh contentedly. However, the time with my boys all together and us as a family is your biggest gift. Summer, I apologize for all the bad rap you get from me, when I'm longing for cold weather and warm boots and for-the-love a little bit of snow. It took me a while to realize all of the wondrous and beautiful things you offer, but I sure am appreciating your golden days more and more!

 Welcome Back, Summer!

A recipe for conversation | Day 7

**I wrote this as a contributor for another blog last year (I've updated some ages), but think it fits my 31 day series on light. As in let's talk about what's going on at our dinner table. Let's keep things light, and get the littles to join in the conversation! After working on this for a year now, I do think our children have made progress (plus they've aged a year. That always helps)! 

When my extended family gets together it usually involves a meal, which is the best part! But it's not because of the food, it's because of our conversations. We have such a good time interacting, laughing and sharing!

After my hubby and I got married, but before we had children, we'd be out at dinner and notice so many other couples sitting and eating in silence. My hubby made me promise to never let that happen to us! He has conversation anxiety. Fast forward fourteen years, and we are in the process of laying the foundation of open, honest, hilarious, heart-felt and joy-filled conversation with our children that we pray will continue on with their future families.

Let's start in the present. At our house, although we put a high value on family meals around the dinner table together, we don't always have the "perfect" conversation.

There have been many nights when our family dinners involve a baby crying because he just can't get his food fast enough, while our oldest is giving every single detail about the book he just finished and he hardly takes a breath. That has made it hard for our middle two boys to get a word in at all. Or for any of us to really talk to each other, for that matter. Either that, or someone is being interrupted and there's so much noise at the table that it's not possible for any of us to truly converse. That's just life isn't it? Our boys at 8, 6, 4, and 2 haven't quite learned the art of conversation yet. But we are trying.

We believe in quality family time and everyone has to eat. So at our house, dinner is a time to create quality. We are making efforts toward achieving dinner conversations. We are trying to teach our children that life is not all about them. It's important to listen to others as well as ask others about themselves.

 Creating dinner conversations is key. We cannot expect our children to know how to carry on conversations on their own. They must be taught. Conversations must be modeled.

You might be asking. . .How in the world? What is a dinner conversation? You really think it's possible to have a dinner conversation when we're chasing our 2 year-old around the house and our 6 year-old is whining about eating asparagus? Here are some ways to get started. . .

Highs and lows.

Some nights while eating, (hopefully not while chewing--we are still working on this!) we talk about our highs and lows for the day.

Each person at the table tells the best or happiest thing that happened in his/her day as well as a sad or bad thing that happened to him/her. The highs and lows of each person's day opens up conversation and allows other family members to chime in with excitement, encouragement or concern. The activity helps us share about ourselves while allowing us to focus on each person in our family as well. It also helps our boys open up to talking through their emotions. Bonus!

Theme night.

We recently had "joke" night during dinner. My hubby had some jokes prepared and we each took turns guessing the punch line. We also created jokes of our own, because let's face it, most 2 year-olds and even our 5 year-old still don't quite understand how jokes work.

Our 2 year-old started every joke with, "Knock knock. Who's there?" We'd all laugh and say, "We don't know. Who's there?" He'd answer with, "An alligator!"  Ha! We sure had some great laughs that night!

Who showed love/Who received love?

Our family's goal is to glorify God in all that we do. A big part of this for us is showing God's love to others. So, some nights we take turns asking, "Who showed love to someone today, and how did you show it?" We also ask, "Who was shown love today, and how was it shown?" You would be amazed at the conversations that are sparked from those questions.

What's your favorite?

Oh, how we love this activity in our family! It originates from our favorite game, "Categories" that we play in the pool during the summer. We come up with fun questions for our children, and we all take turns answering and asking! For example, What's your favorite place to go on a vacation?" or "What's your favorite type of sea creature?" Everyone has a favorite or two or three and the game lets us ask further questions to keep the conversation flowing!

Who or what would you like to pray for tonight?

We always pray before our meal, giving thanks to the Lord for our day and food. But we also have family devotions around our dinner table. Not every single night, but when we do, we often end our devotions with each of us praying. When we ask our children for whom or what they would like to pray, it's a way for us to see a little bit of what's going on in their hears.

For example, last year, our 5 year old told us he would like to pray for his friend who is moving to Indonesia. At the time, Chad and I knew his friend was moving, but didn't know that our 5 year old knew. However, he found out from his friend that day at school. So, by him sharing, we were able to talk about how our little man felt about his friend moving. Boom. Conversations started.

Yes, children grow up and eventually they are able to participate in conversations with just about anyone. But, how do they get there? They have to be taught. Family meals, no matter what time of day or how often, are a great way to gather together and listen to each other, taking turns, showing love and learning respect--all through conversation! It doesn't have to be intellectually stimulating, but capturing our children's attention by keeping it light and getting them talking is the first step in learning to converse!

what about the other 364 days of the year?

One day of the year.

There's one day a year dedicated to celebrate motherhood, and now it has come and gone. To all of you moms out there, I hope your day was special and you felt loved! Maybe you were able to slip into a spa for a massage, or found yourself on a beach with a good book or even in a little coffee shop with some tea and quiet time to yourself. I hope you feel recharged!

But if you are like me, then you were spending time with your family--with your children, on Mother's Day. And that means you probably changed diapers, settled a few sibling disputes, put some dishes in the dishwasher and started a load of laundry. Things you do every other day of the year too. And maybe that was recognized and you felt appreciated yesterday, on Mother's Day.

But today is just another day. Does it really matter?

Oh Momma, keep on. Brush those crumbs into your hands. Rub that stain stick onto yet another shirt stained with yesterday's popsicle. Pour another cup of milk. Wipe another bottom or two. Cut those sandwiches into triangles. Clean those scrapes and kiss the boo-boo's. Add those bubbles to their baths. Practice the sight words and the flash cards. Sing that goodnight song. And pray. Keep on praying.

Maybe you will never hear a thank you for cutting their sandwiches into triangles, or how they loved the song you sang them when they were sad, but your children notice. They may not know how to verbalize it, but it makes them feel loved.

Mother's Day really isn't all about us, but it's about how our littles make us Mommies. And being a Mommy is all about serving and keeping on and loving and praying.

So today, the day after Mother's Day, go do what you do best, what you do every single day of the year. Be your child's Momma. Nobody can do that better than you!

It matters!

KwitchyerbellyaKin

There's a sign that hangs over a doorway in our den that reads

I can't tell you how many people have stared at the needlepoint sign that used to hang in my grandparents house and asked me if it's German and what it means, but it has been a lot! And in case you are stumped, I'll translate for you. . .

Quit Your Belly Achin'

aka

Stop Your Whining and Complaining

Oh my stars, how we preach this at our house! Not a day goes by when we aren't saying to one of our littles, "Ah, ah, ah! Watch that complaining!" Or "You've just lost that privilege because you were complaining." Our children even recognize whining in themselves and each other. Just the other day Charlie said to me, "Oh Mommy, he sure does sound like the Israelites grumbling and complaining!" And it drives me crazy to hear our boys complaining and to think about how their hearts seem so ungrateful (at times). But you know what? I do it too.

And when I think about how I complain, it makes me sick. I'm busy whining and complaining about our lack of snow, or complaining and nagging our boys to keep their room clean. It bums me out when my hubby travels, or when I cannot find any time to organize our crazy house and I wind up grumbling about it. The other half of my time, I probably don't even recognize my ways of complaining.

So, when I was sitting on our couch last night and I looked up and saw those words that had me mesmerized as a little girl, I thought about how my grandparents had them hung in their house as a reminder and a little bit of encouragement, even if you say "KwitchyerbellyaKin" with a little sass!

In Philippians 2:14-15, we are told to ^"14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, ¹⁵ that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."

Needless to say, I'm not perfect, and none of us are, nor will be this side of heaven. But, one way I've found to combat complaining is to make a gratitude list by writing down my blessings and things I'm thankful for. Our 8 year old is interested in starting a thankful journal too! If you haven't read Ann Voskamp's, One Thousand Gifts, I highly recommend it. She speaks Truth and nails the reason we are grumblers. It all started, In the beginning. . .

Be encouraged and be thankful!

His Word-filled Wednesday

Needing this today as I'm feeling tugged in every direction trying to meet the littles' needs. Having four in all different stages is challenging. Honestly, being a parent, whether you have one or 11 is challenging. So much falls on you for so long. How do we fill their hearts with what they need? But it's worth it, and it's a huge blessing to be a parent. It's one of the greatest gifts I've received!

But, you know what? Parenting is even better, when you read the little note, tucked inside Isaiah.

The Lord tells us we are his children and He is our shepherd and He's got it, life, our life, in His hands. And even more---He's going to guide us, lead us, those that have children. What a blanket of peace to comfort us! Thank you, Lord!

Dinner for 6: A recipe for conversation {A guest post at One Fun Mom}

If you could be a fly on our dining room wall, you'd be in for a treat! The crazy and hilarious antics of our boys at mealtimes (really at most times) never cease to amaze us! And the noise! Wow! If you have or have had littles in your house, or if you've been a dinner guest at our house, I know you feel me. Dinner time can be crazy!! But, it's also a sweet time to connect with your family!

I'm over at One Fun Mom today with a guest post on how our family attempts to cultivate conversations at mealtimes! I'd love for you to click here, drop by and share a few tips on how your conversations flow or just make me feel better by sharing a story of your three-ringed circus at dinner!

Be still.

After major meltdown #3 from one of our littles, occurring just before noon today, (and I'm talking major), I was left feeling a little deflated. My hubby and I are choosing verses to pray for each child as they begin the school year in a couple of weeks. We've nailed down a couple of verses for our super-tough, super-emotional, charmer of a spitfire, already!

But then I remembered yesterday at church, a couple of things jumped out at me. . .

First, so many of the young children around were acting *squirrely* and I had at least 5 different moms talking to me about it. It seems all the kiddos (and maybe some Moms too) are feeling the last little bit of summer tugging them. Everyone loves the freedom of summer for a while, but everyone also needs routine to balance it. I think lots of littles we know are ready for the next school year. They may not verbalize it, just like I can't. I'm actually getting in a funk because school starts in 2 weeks, and I will truly miss the extra time I have with my children. But, it's going to come whether I like it or not, and honestly, I'm a sucker for new beginnings--start of the school year, New Year's, start of summer--even the start of a new week! Basically, the littles seem restless right now, and I think some parents are too!

Second, we heard a sermon of Psalm 46 last night. You may know it from this verse. . .

 "Be still, and know that I am God." --Psalm 46:10

I know this verse and have it memorized, but it doesn't always pop into my head when I'm struggling with parenting. I tend to get dramatic and project my littles future selves into the situation and think, "Oh my stars! If he's throwing a tantrum about his brother taking a toy (that he wasn't even playing with), then when he's 17, and his friend gets the coveted spot on the basketball team and he doesn't, it's not going to be pretty!" Or, what about the girl, or job or job promotion he doesn't get? I just start beating myself up over the what's happening now, as if we are failing at parenting. 

But what I really need to do, rather than all the future projecting that I do, is to be still. God is in control. We are not failing. Our children just need us to guide them. This parenting gig, it isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. We aren't supposed to be done yet. And just because I've said, "Build each other up", "We use our hands for loving" "Obey your Mommy and Daddy" "Show God's love to others" and so much more, thousands of times, and it still doesn't always work, it's okay. This is a process that God is in control of and I just need to be still. Still parent. Still love. Still pray. But be still in Him.

**Click here if you are interested in finding verses for your children too!

in life, or in bubbles

This, is what the best of summer is . . .

time to make things a little bigger or a little smaller (in life or in bubbles)

time to keep on trying and time to dream. . .

time to be enchanted. . .

time to perfect

time to bond and time to be together.

I love these days.

full circle

Today started out so well! The boys were off from school today because of a teacher inservice day, so there was no morning rush to get out of the door. For that, I was thankful! I truly think that is one major reason I love holidays and summer days---just a laid back morning! And the boys, oh they love it too! We lounged in our jammies on this dreary, cold morning and read together, made muffins, had sweet conversations. So thankful. The boys played well together and were encouraging and thankful and thoughtful. It's days like these that make me want to homeschool! There's just something about all of our attitudes when we're together. We're just better! I even made our first trip to Target with just my 4 littles and me. And they were awesome! We came back, played more, ate, had rest time and we watched a movie this afternoon (a super special treat since tomorrow is a school day) with yummy popcorn and then sent the older 2 off to shower up before dinner.

Then, it went downhill. I have no idea what changed from the entire rest of our day, but the simple instructions of "Go get undressed, put your clothes in your dirty clothes basket and get in the shower" proved to be much too difficult this day. There was all out silliness (which I expect some of), and then arguing, and then screaming (while baby is taking a late afternoon nap) and it was taking forever for them to accomplish anything in the shower! I was monitoring it all, in between monitoring little Miles trying to take all of the toys out of the big boys room or removing everything from the bathroom counter. And basically, my attitude went downhill fast. I was snappy and yelling, "Boys stop!" "Don't do that!" "Do you hear me?" "Stop screaming (as I'm yelling it)" and they were pretty much oblivious. My whole plan was to have them bathed before dinner so we could spend more time reading together tonight. Chad's been out of town for a funeral the past couple of nights and I know, in order to get the boys tucked in at a reasonable time, I have to start early. Bathing before dinner just seemed like it would help. But then, the boys were wound up at dinner, and me trying to get everything on the table to feed them and answer every question being shot my way, and everyone talking over everyone, sent me spinning. At one point during dinner, after one of our littles blatantly disobeyed, I put my fork down and went into the kitchen. I heard Luke and Charlie discussing what was happening. One of them said, "She's going to get the wooden spoon!" The other said, "Or maybe she's just going to pray in private!" And in fact, the latter was right. I had to remove myself from the table in order not to scream, but more importantly to pray! The Lord is my strength and I'm so thankful for that!

Later tonight, Chad and I talked on the phone and I relayed a lot of the day. I spent the majority of the day feeling incredibly thankful for lots of little things, and then an hour and a half of craziness just about ruined the rest of the day. But, my sweet husband in all his wisdom reminded me of how he and I want so badly for our littles to have perfect hearts at their young ages, when we, at 36, don't! And never will. However, we have a Savior who is our refuge and strength and joy and song and Shepherd. He is made perfect in our weakness. If we were perfect, why would we need Him? If our children are perfect, why would they need Him? Tonight I am thankful for struggles. It's the eucharisteo thankful. Have you read her book? Ooohh, it's my favorite and full of truth and full of pondering and encouraging on how to be thankful for the hard things.

Sure, it's easy to be thankful for sweet moments with my children, and cold, snuggly days, and I should be thankful for those. It's harder though, to be thankful for struggles. But tonight, I am. I am thankful that I had opportunities to apologize to my boys for snapping. I'm thankful that I had a chance today to tell them about how far from perfect I am (it's not the first time they've heard it, nor will it be the last), but that the Lord is perfect and He loves and forgives perfectly. I'm thankful this day has come around full circle!

thoughts this Thursday

some of my inner thoughts lately. . .

--Is there such thing as seller's remorse? I've heard of buyer's remorse--experienced it before, but not often. Right now though, I'm afraid I might have a smidge of seller's remorse (though technically our house isn't sold--just under contract--just want to be clear and not jinx us). I do SO love our house and yard, and well, it's our first house as a married couple and where we have brought all our babies (so far) home! Ahhhh, so emotional these days!! Pregnancy does that to ya. Who am I kidding---anything does that to me!!

--Fear is not from the Lord! He tells us in His glorious Word, not to be afraid, not to be anxious, to be still, to seek Him, to trust Him. He gives us no fear---that is from someone else. Do you know that? I do, but being completely honest here, I don't always live like I know it. In the dark of night, when I'm awake and no one else is, when there are creaks in the house and Chad is out of town, when he's out of town and I worry about other things, when one of our boys is sick, when we have to find a place to live, when money doesn't grow on trees, when schools aren't all equal, when we get a diagnosis that our precious baby will have Down syndrome, when I have no clue what that means or how it will change our family--and fearing all of the above--that is not living how the Lord wants me to live. I know that. I know that I am human too--we all are, and I am not beating myself up about it, but trying to remember all I need to remember. . .He loves us. More than anyone ever can or will. He showed us that thousands of years ago when he died on the cross and rose again!!! He made me to love Him and glorify Him through all that I do. And that is what I am praying daily--that I can do that for Him--after all He has done for me!

--and on a lighter note, the Jackson house is never boring. I'm here pondering why in the world things get put into holes in bodies that don't belong there. For example, my 6.5 year old, just today, decided to put a piece of a plastic bag into his ear. Sure enough, he couldn't get it out. Go figure. Neither could I and per suggestion via our pediatrician, the water I poured into his ear didn't remove it either. So, $25 later, after using a "grabber" our pediatrician was able to remove the plastic. She then told him that $25 was more than he had in his piggy bank (she was right) and that he might need to do some chores around the house to pay us back. After she gave him a gentle lecture on what holes are not appropriate to put items in!!! Not a bad idea. Now off to ponder how he can help us out!

it was bound to happen

 

Yep. This was our first trip to an Urgent Care for one of our littles. It was bound to happen, you know, having 3 boys and all! At around 5:30 last night, Luke and Charlie were rough housing. Not all that unusual. They are boys. They are physical. They have energy. It had been cold for a while (though today is quite warm) and dark early. It all just adds up to them wrestling and a big brother pushing a little brother into a wall. I was downstairs on the phone when I heard a bang and LOTS of loud crying. Hung up the phone and went up to hug and console Charlie. I pulled away from him to look at his face and get him to talk to me when I saw it. Blood everywhere!! I mean, pouring from the side of his head. I remembered that head wounds always bleed a lot, but this just seemed like A LOT!!! I kinda panicked and ran him to the bathtub, all the while he was screaming a break-the-glass kind of scream. I called Chad, though I knew he was driving to a meeting and told him I wasn't sure what to do. How do I know if it's just a lot of blood or serious enough for stitches? He didn't know. I called a couple of other mom friends to consult and ended up deciding to take him to Urgent Care. As I was gathering him and getting him dressed with blood still oozing, scooping up Miles and telling Luke to get his shoes on, Daddy walks in the door!

After a night to reflect. . .

Praise the Lord that Chad stayed home with Miles and Luke because Chuckles and I spent almost 3 hours in the Urgent Care (with all of the rest of our city) and the others could not have lasted that long! Praise the Lord that Rudolph was on in the lobby, even if it was quickly over! It was a good distraction! Praise the Lord for the numbing pack they put on Charlie, which took 45 minutes to take effect! Praise the Lord for a blue ice pop that quickly took Charlie's mind off of the 2 STAPLES that went in his head! Praise the Lord that I didn't faint when I watched and heard the staples go in! Praise the Lord that though I never want that to happen again, I would take that anyday over broken bones or much worse. Praise the Lord that He made Chuckles tough and brave! I was just so proud of him as he was slightly nervous, but so trusting and easily reassured! Praise the Lord that He gave us the wisdom to take him in to Urgent Care!

And, even after the events of last night, sweet Chuckles was ready to go for his little Christmas program this morning! He's front and center and did a wonderful job singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Joy to the World and We Wish You a Merry Christmas! My brain was still a little frazzled and I forgot my camera. Thank you, Ashley, for taking a few pics for us!! We loved your program, Charlie! And, we love you!!!

Thank you, Lord, for taking care of your precious Charlie!

hit me like a ton of bricks

There's nothing like a sick child that awakens the inner-Momma-lion. Yesterday, that inner-Momma-lion came out. My sweet youngest was on fire with fever from an ear infection and was feeling miserable. I had no infant Tylenol anywhere. Neither did Kroger. Neither did Target, at first. My poor little baby. I carried him in and he was radiating heat. I was hot holding him. I searched and searched and finally found some off brand tucked behind other items and grabbed it. I was already annoyed that they couldn't keep acetominaphen stocked and then I see 3 open lanes out of 20 with 10 people in each lane. I was starting to boil, partly because of the little oven in my arms, but mainly because I was watching 6 other workers, walk back and forth, seemingly doing nothing, and certainly not opening another lane. I was waiting in line 10 minutes when a manager decided to ask someone to open another lane. At that point, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I, politely but firmly, told her they needed more lanes open. She responded with, "That's what I just did, but step over here and I'll check you out." True, that was what she just did, but my point was that it was crazy for all of us to have been waiting that long for her to do so. My inner-Momma-lion had been awakened and I was feeling bad for my little buddy who was feverish and crying.

And as I was walking out of the store, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course as a mother, I am supposed to protect and stand up for and advocate for my little ones. All mothers are supposed to do that and most of them do. But, not all mothers are in the same situations that I am in or that I presume most of you are in. We have the luxury of being able to drive to a store and more often than not, the store has medications we need and that we can afford to buy. By the world's standards, we are beyond wealthy and have medicine within our grasp. And yet, I was boiling because I had to wait with my sick, but barely sick (in the whole scheme of things) little boy for an extra 10 minutes to get some medicine.

Yuck.

I recently finished reading the book Kisses from Katie. If you haven't heard of it, you can read about it here. Basically, it is about an 18 year old girl from Nashville, who takes a trip to Uganda to help an orphanage and winds up being led by the Lord to live there and adopt 13 children. The book has led me to more tears than any other I can recall. It is heart gripping! I don't know why this book has impacted me like it has, but I know the Lord is working in my heart through this one. A sweet friend gave it to me, told me she prayed about who to give it to, and sure enough I was one of the blessed to receive it. It's had a crazy affect on me and I don't want it to stop. If you feel like you've been living too comfortably lately, you should read it. If you want to feel challenged or just encouraged, you should read it. If you want inspiration, you should read it. If you've been feeling the Lord tugging at you, you should read it.

If you do read it, then you'll understand why I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks after leaving the store. If you have read it, then you already know. Let me know if you've heard of it, read it or plan to read it and then what you have been challenged by after doing so. I love comments, and though I don't often ask for them, I'd love to read some on this!

the time has come. . .

For a couple of weeks now, I've been a little emotional at the thought of Luke starting Kindergarten this year. Who am I kidding? It's actually been since the last day of school in May. Maybe even before that! Don't get me wrong, I love that he is growing up and I'm so excited about all that Kindergarten will be, all that he will learn and how he will grow and change this year. It's going to be a blast! But, what I've been dreading is the five full days a week my little boy will be off at school. This is big time now and off he will be for the rest of his school life. My little baby, in a uniform, off and away.

Luke has been really excited about starting school. His main reason---he gets to have lunch at school and bring his lunch in his new Cars 2 lunch box. I was telling a friend the other day about how my desire would be for him to have one of those cute, classic, simple designed lunch boxes, say in navy. But, I had to give in. It's just something not to battle. It's a way he can express himself and he's excited. Why squash that? Sure, he'll be *done* with his Cars 2 lunch box, but let him enjoy for now.

Something I am looking forward to this year, is some sweet time with Charlie and Miles. Charlie will be at a Parents Day Out for 2 days a week (equivalent to PreK age) but at home with me the other 3 days. I'm looking forward to having Mommy/ Charlie school and playdates together, as well as growing the bond between Charlie and Miles. As Charlie has been at PDO before, it hasn't been as big of an emotional pull. He's still with me and I'm soaking it up!

Charlie has, though, been feeding off Luke's excitement about school--thank goodness. Last year he had a hard time when we dropped him off at school. He definitely did not want to go in the class or have us leave (of course he raved about his day when he got home)! So, the past couple of weeks, we've been building school up. Charlie's main reason for being excited about school is that he will get to play with his friends!

So the big day came! We layed out clothes the night before, packed the backpacks, got the first day of school pics and headed off. Of course, I left my camera at home and had to bring it back today for the second day of school pic. . .as Luke's teacher said, "Hey, at least you got him here!" Amen to that! Getting 3 kiddos ready and out the door early, to fight traffic, is NOT an easy task! Ahhhh, I'm missing our summer sleep schedules already!

(this pic was taken today, because I forgot my camera yesterday)

I managed to say goodbye to Luke and Charlie without any tears, until I was driving home and heard Taylor Swift's song, "Best Day." I think that's what it's called. The boys call it the Mommy Song, because Taylor Swift is singing to her Mommy. She starts out by singing as if she was 5 years old. And so I lost it! This entire summer I've spent looking at Luke like he was SO old and big. And he is. But, when I walked him into his class and he was shy, and learning the ropes, he was little again. We said hi to his new classmates, and they were shy and it was just a precious picture of innocence. Still wanting their moms, still quiet on the first day of school. So, so sweet. And for Charlie it was the opposite. He still seems so little at 3, but on his first day of school, he was big! He walked on in and was elated to be at school! He showed his teachers his lovie, Froggy, and was off to read books. So very different from last year when we had to push him into his classroom. Charlie was all grown up in one sense, though still clutching his lovie and itty bitty and adorable. So I blame Taylor Swift for sending me over the edge. If you listen to that song, you will be over the edge too. Children or no children. It makes you want to be a child again and go cling to your Mommy's legs too.

And so now that the first day is behind us, I'm relieved. I am beyond thankful to our Lord for giving us our little treasures, big and small at the same time. So thankful that He has entrusted us to care for them and love them with all of our hearts. And while our babies won't be in our hands for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week anymore, we are confident that the Lord has them in HIS hands, and that is the safest place they can be!

hoorays and boos and God's plan

Lately, I've tried to focus my morning prayers on thanking the Lord for the day He is laying out before me. Praying that His will be done. Praying that when I have hiccups in my plans for the day, that I might realize they aren't really my plans, but in fact are His. So here's the start to our day. . .

This morning I woke up to my alarm, set at 6:48, hooray, because it means a certain newest member of our family didn't wake me up before that. Usually it is set earlier because I like to be up, showered, dressed with make up on before tending to the kiddos. However this morning, my lovely sister ran carpool, hooray, because my car is in the shop, Chad is out of town, and it takes a good 30 minutes to get all 3 kiddos buckled in his non-SUV, meaning I didn't have to wake as early. So, the aforementioned little one decided to sleep until 7:30, hooray normally, but today boo, because as I am quickly trying to get Lukey down for breakfast and feed Miles his bottle, Charlie also wakes up and decides THIS morning, boo, is the morning he will tell me for the first time that pee-pee is about to come out, hooray, and runs to the potty, hooray! So that means Miles' bottle gets put on hold, boo, Lukey's breakfast is cold and uneaten, boo, and we all parade into the bathroom to see if Chuckles will finally produce in the potty. Sure enough, he did, BIG hooray!! So, I, elated, jump for joy and knock down the shower curtain, scaring poor Charlie with his arms protecting his head, boo, and quickly check to see if there is any emotional damage. There is none thus far, hooray, and we give hugs, high-fives and dole M&M's out! We then all rush downstairs and Luke devours his breakfast, while Chuckles is on and off the potty another half dozen times, partly out of pure amazement that pee-pee came out, hooray, partly motivated to wear big-boy underwear like Lukey, hooray, and partly for M&M's, boo, but hooray too--whatever works! Luke heads off to school, Miles finally get his bottle an hour late, boo, but he was fine, so hooray!

And our day continued with a poop explosion so big it went all the way up to the back of baby's neck and was deep under my fingernails, BIG boo! It was also filled with doggy throw up all over our kitchen rug, boo--why do dogs always find the carpets or rugs??? But on top of that, our day was filled with elation when an old, funny board book was found, hooray--we read it 50 times over and yogurt with dinner, hooray (so easy to please sometimes)!

Today made me laugh--it was pretty comical all that went on. It's so nice and comforting that even the small details in life are part of His plan! Sometimes though, there are big hiccups in life. My friend, Jennifer, has a close friend who is having a MAJOR hiccup, to say the least, right now. I also pray that should we have a MAJOR hiccup in our life, I may be able to trust and remember the same thing. . .please pray for this family, whose 5 year old little girl has cancer. Sometimes it seems that Jeremiah 29:11 can become cliche, but it says the Lord has plans for us--to prosper us and give us hope. Let's cling to this. . .that the Lord has everything worked out already!

savoring

I've had a lot of people ask me recently if I am ready for our new baby to be here. Lately, it's been hard to answer. Sometimes I find myself giving a big  "yes" which is what people want or expect to hear. Absolutely, I am ready to meet our new little bundle! And, for a couple of different reasons, I want our baby to be born early (as many of you know I want the "movie scene" experience, rather than being induced). But, there is something different about this baby, or pregnancy or upcoming birth than the others. I think it has to do with savoring.

Right now, I am savoring these moments (and just like that, my eyes start to water up---gotta love the horomones). I will admit that I love being pregnant. Some people are like that, some are not. I truly do love it--even when I hurt, though I probably haven't hurt as much as most women out there. I 100% love every movement, which is A LOT, that each of my babies make. There is nothing like it. I have even found myself sad on occasion when I have the real live sweet baby in my arms, because I no longer feel the kicks and stretches in my tummy. It's selfish. I know that I am the only one who has ever felt this baby and my others kick from the inside--and it's a way I bond with my babies. This may be our last pregnancy, we don't know--only the Lord does. So, I am savoring it.

I am also savoring time with my ALL of my boys. When I was pregnant with Luke, I don't think I did as much savoring. I was so anxious for him to be here--because he was our first to be born, and because we had a prior miscarriage. Chad and I thought we were savoring time with each other, but because we had no idea what to really appreciate, I am not really convinced we did savor each other. So, we have focused on that, on our marriage and each other this time around--savoring each other, because it's going to be a whirlwind soon.

I am also savoring time with Luke. He's growing up, almost 5! The other night we was giving lots of kisses to his favorite lovie Bun-Bun and telling him how much he loved him. I asked Luke if he loved me (pretty pathetic sounding, right?) and he said, "Yes, Mommy! I love you even more than Bun-Bun!" Melt my heart. That's a big ol' deal. Of course I know he loves me--he tells me lots, but for him to express it like that was precious. I want to savor this. He also loves Mommy/Lukey time, when his brother is at Parents Day Out for a few hours longer than Luke is at school. Luke and I get to do things one on one and I am cherishing that time, because our routine will be changing soon.

For another 5 weeks, I have more one on one time with Charlie than I've had before too. Because Luke is in school 5 half days, Charlie and I have more mornings to play and be together. He has turned into such a "joybucket" as we have started affectionately calling him. It is amazing to watch him thrive on the attention he gets when he's by himself. We have had so much fun reading books, playing games, running errands, blowing bubbles, etc. and I love to see him beam! I am savoring this time with Charlie too, because things will be different when October rolls around.

I am very excited about what's and who's to come, we all are! Our new addition has already been a blessing in our lives and we can't wait to see that multiplied in so many ways. But for now, I am content. I am savoring!

beginning JK

Today, our Lukey started Junior Kindergarten! Well actually, it was yesterday--he had an hour orientation. But, today was his first "real" half-day. For those of you who don't live in our PreK, JK, SK world, junior kindergarten is the year before SK, which is the "real" Kindergarten. Got it?

Anyway, just before I started writing this, I looked back to last year's post on his entry into PreK--which was quite a big deal, as he was entering a big boy preschool! So much has changed. He has grown up in many ways. But, he's still our baby, as I always tell him he will always be, and once again I had concerns about whether he would be in a class with a super teacher, would he make new friends, would he be sad that he was leaving at half day, when so many others in his class stayed all day, etc. I guess this is something I need to realize will never change. As parents we will always worry. But, as a Christian family, we should turn our worry into prayer and conversations with the Lord and know that He is in control! Sometimes I want to have control, like choosing his teacher, hand pick which friends he would have in his class, etc. But then if given control, I think---"Wait, why do I want this control when the Lord has everything planned?" Ahhhh!

So, back to his first JK day. Once again we started with blueberry muffins--Luke's request! We had a few tears when he couldn't wear his "marlin" shorts because we no longer have a matching shirt that fits. I told him next summer we will keep our eyes peeled for shark, dolphin, sailfish, any type of sea creature shorts that he can wear and that got him through. And, though he hasn't been feeling well all week, he was super pumped about his day as you can see by his giddy face! We parked today and will start the car line next week. We walked in together, though I let him walk me in. He told me he knew the way and sure enough he did! He ran through his classroom door without a goodbye, but his teacher (who does seem awesome) called him back so I could take a quick picture of them on his first day. He was super excited about starting to play, but I did get a quick goodbye after that! He was on to other things. Charlie and I had a few things to accomplish this morning, but I can tell it's going to be hard on Charlie with Luke gone every morning. He kept asking to go get Lukey---Charlie was the one who was going to make me cry today--not Luke! Sweet thing, missing his big brother!

We had lunch with Daddy and heard about Luke's day. Sounded great--especially playing with the tub full of bugs---what could be better (other than a tub full of sea creatures)?? And though it's just Day 1 down, already I am feeling lots less anxious! The Lord always hears our prayers! Cheers to an exciting new school year!

An excited Lukey and Mrs. Patterson!

We held our breath. . .again!

And though we had serious conversations of Chad quitting his current job and moving our entire family to Kauai, we came back home, reality set in, and life goes on. . .

So, in other news. . .our little Charlie is now in a big boy bed! A really big one in fact. We moved him from his crib to a double! Actually, we made this move a week before we left for Hawaii. We sure were holding our breath (you may remember the last time we did this here) again! It could have been disastrous and led to a discipline problem for my mom or Chad's parents while they watched the boys. But. . .so far, an entire month into the process and everything is great!!

Charlie loves his new bed and new room--so much so that he often wants to play in his room so he can play and jump in his bed--which is currently a no-no if we aren't around. We set the same rules for him that we did for Lukey when Luke moved from his crib to a single: No getting in OR out of your bed without Mommy or Daddy! It worked like a charm for Luke. He never really played in his room without us (you know how it is with the firstborn--they get all of your undivided attention). He certainly never got in or out of the crib at bedtime or naptime. Little Angel.

As far as bedtime and naptime have been going, Charlie too, has proven to be an angel. Hold on, let me knock on some wood. Okay, done. He lays right down is his bed that practically swallows him up, surrounded by his lovies and a paci and stays in bed!! Now we just need to work on him when he's playing in his room with his brother. He's climbed in and out of bed several times knowing he's disobeying. But, hey, our main goal was to keep him from getting out at night and in the morning, and he has been a champ!! And, just like with Lukey moving into his big boy bed, I got a little teary with Charlie too. My littlest baby is growing up!! And if one more person tells me "He is looking like a big boy instead of a baby now" my horomonal self might punch them in the face! Just kidding. Maybe.

Daddy reading the boys some books in Charlie's new room, the first night to be in his big boy bed!

Charlie's super comfy bed--his lovies await!!

multiplying love (on having more than 1 child)

I've been thinking a lot about what's in store for our family when we welcome #3 in September! We've heard a lot of comments about us having to move from a man-to-man defense to a zone defense! I do get a little nervous when thinking about taking 3 young ones out and about and not having enough hands to hold all of them. I think about how our kitchen table is perfect for 4 people--2 on each side and how that will eventually change. I think about car seats and space in the car (thank goodness ours has a third row---but someone will still be in the back). I think about our future trips to amusement parks and how we will have an odd number of people (assuming this is our last, right honey?) and so much more!

One thing I haven't been worrying about this time around is will we have enough love to give this new little baby? Some of you might think I'm crazy, but I certainly wondered that very thing when we were expecting little Charlie. I actually did think about whether or not I would be able to share the love we had/have for Luke with another one. Well, I'm here to say--absolutely!!! We have so many friends who are pregnant right now. Some with their third child, but a lot with their second. If you have felt, or are feeling like you could not love another in the same way--you will! The Lord miraculously multiplies our love, rather than dividing it! We don't split our love between Luke and Charlie and I'm not worried about having the divide our love into thirds for this new baby. In fact, I couldn't be happier to multiply our love! We are so incredibly blessed and will soon be even more so! The Lord has been pouring his love on us and that's what we all do with our children!

I came across this post today. It was incredibly encouraging to me (about to have 3), but can definitely be applied to those of you about to have 2! I had lots of anxieties about welcoming #2 into our family, but the advice given here is good!