without further delay. . .Way's birth story

Chad says I've been teasing too much about writing Way's birth story and not actually writing it! Hey, it's been busy around here, ya know? But, since Way is almost 4 weeks now, maybe I should get to it--before the lack of sleep really hits us!

Oh, where to begin? Twas the night before Way's birth. . .seriously, I think it could have all begun with my trip to PF Chang's for some spicy Chinese food! I was determined to get the baby moving! With all 3 of my other babies, I was the same way--trying to do everything that I could think of to get my "movie scene" and go into labor on my own, without having to be induced. Everything short of castor oil. Wasn't interested in doing that after my friend's experience with it. Anyway, spicy food never worked before, but I tried it again, and asked for them to prepare my dish in the spiciest way possible! I ate it all up!

The next morning I headed to go get my platelet infusion, (an IV that would take 4 hours to get) because I had low blood platelets. My doctors told me I needed to get my platelets up to a safe level, so I could get an epidural and not have any bleeding issues.So, you better believe I was there! However, once I got there that morning (my Mom was keeping the kiddos), they told me that they were still approving our insurance and that they would call me in a few hours to tell me if the procedure was approved. They sent me home. I was sad that I felt like the whole day was now going to be taken up, and I couldn't be out having some last minute fun with my littles--since baby Way was coming in 2 days.

Well, once I got home, I let my Mom go and asked her to return in a couple of hours so I could go back and get my platelets. And then, less than an hour after she left, I felt my very first contraction!! First contraction, not induced, that is! It was painful! And I loved it! At first. Then, I had another about 7 minutes later. Then another, 7 minutes later. After 3 contractions, still not 100% positive they were real contractions, I was convinced to call my dr. He told me to hang on for an hour and to come on into the hospital if the pain worsened or the contractions became closer together. Well, after 30 minutes, I knew they were real. And I guessed if they were "fake" contractions, that I never, ever, wanted to feel the real thing (unless of course, I was being induced, because now I was second guessing my desire to not be induced). Yes, yes, these were painful. The I-couldn't-walk-type painful. I called my mom and told her I knew I was in labor and to come back quickly. I texted Chad, whom I knew was in a meeting and said "I think I'm in labor", so as not to pressure him from leaving a meeting. Well, Chad ended up beating my mom home (he must have driven like he was on a race course). By the time he was home, I was doubled over in pain, wondering where in the world my mom was! OH, and I still hadn't packed my hospital bag!!! Remember my last post before Way arrived?? I called a friend and asked what to pack, threw in a few things, said quick goodbyes to our kiddos, and headed to the hospital once my mom showed up!

And that's where the fun really began! Or not! :) Once signed in, I had to walk back to triage, because they didn't have a room in labor and delivery for me yet. But, since my contractions were so strong, and I was still doubled over in pain, that was quite interesting. Poor Chad and his hands. They must have been purple, from my squeezing! But, that was nothing. . .After I was evaluated, they told me I was 4 cm. Cool. This baby was working his way out!! One thing that always bugged me about being induced, was that we would go in at 6 in the morning and I wouldn't have a baby until after 4 or 5 or 7 at night! It took ALL day long! Well, now it was noon and my contractions only started at 10:30! Hooray! Then, the nurse told me that they located my platelets at a LifeBlood in town and it would take an hour to get them to me and 30 minutes to get them in me. I thought that was great! Until, my contractions started getting worse and a little closer together. I was needing an epidural, and I let them know! Problem was though, oh yeah, that I didn't have my platelets yet. I don't think it was really hitting me that was the reason I still didn't have my epidural. I thought they were just being safe-safe. But as I progressed and was in more pain, and the pain meds they gave me to "take the edge off" weren't doing a blasted thing, Chad became aware I wasn't getting my OHHHH so desired epidural. Or maybe it was when I told the nurses that I needed my dr. NOW (they found him pretty quickly!) and I heard him, somewhere in my foggy land of pain I was living in, tell Chad I wasn't getting an epidural. Not because I had progressed too far, but because I didn't have my platelets up to a safe level, all because I never got my infusion!! I was still begging for an epidural in between my tears and fears that I couldn't birth this baby if I didn't have one. And I remember when Chad, in a gentle, assuring voice, told me that I wasn't getting the epidural, but that I was going to make it. I didn't believe him, but I needed him for sure. I also remember my dr., whom I think is amazing, tell me the same thing, and I thought, "What the heck do you know?" Same thing from both of them, but different feelings toward each of them! Ha!!  I was screaming in pain and crying and telling Chad I didn't want to have ugly words fly out of my mouth. And they didn't---just things like "I am going to die" came out---and it was just like the movie scene---only my desired movie scene involved me having contractions on my own, rushing to the hospital and actually getting my epidural!!!! This movie scene was ending without an epidural!! The contractions were painful, but the pushing was excruciating! Chad later told me he was proud of me--not for pushing out a baby without an epidural, but for actually hurting him by squeezing his hand so hard!!! :) But he did tell me he was proud of me for birthing our baby too!

And then. . .and then. . .our newest, precious, little love from the Lord was here! Thanks be to God!!

There's lots more to add to the crazy story, that makes it crazier, but after that long journal, I'll leave it with that and this . . .

Oh, sweet baby Way!! You were worth every painful second of your delivery! Thank you for bringing me my movie scene and SO much more importantly, thank you Lord, for little Way!!! Oh, how we love you!!!

sunflowers part 1

Okay, before I dive into Way's birth story, let me back up a few days prior to his birth. Every single year since Luke has been born, we've taken pictures in our local sunflower patch. Every year they are beautiful and I just can't resist getting my littles growing up with the sunflowers! Well, this annual event takes place end of July/beginning of August. Because little Way's due date was August 3rd, I was thinking we'd try and grab pictures before he was born, since probably, we wouldn't make it after he was born.

So, the Saturday prior to Way's arrival, we headed out. Our old neighbor told me she heard the sunflowers were up and blooming, so we were ready with the camera and took off. However, upon arrival, we saw that in fact, the sunflowers were not blooming yet. Chad asked me if this annual event was about the pictures or the sunflowers. I said both!! But, I couldn't have both, so I settled for pictures anyway, and we headed off in a different direction, where I snapped some of these. . .

My 3 littles--3 days before Way was born!!

And, while I don't just love posing for pics (especially being preggo), we had to have at least 1 pic with little Way in my tummy! 

Again, I'll be back with more from Way's arrival, but we did manage to venture out to the sunflowers last night--so I have all 4 boys in the sunflowers this year after all! Hooray!!

thoughts this Thursday

some of my inner thoughts lately. . .

--Is there such thing as seller's remorse? I've heard of buyer's remorse--experienced it before, but not often. Right now though, I'm afraid I might have a smidge of seller's remorse (though technically our house isn't sold--just under contract--just want to be clear and not jinx us). I do SO love our house and yard, and well, it's our first house as a married couple and where we have brought all our babies (so far) home! Ahhhh, so emotional these days!! Pregnancy does that to ya. Who am I kidding---anything does that to me!!

--Fear is not from the Lord! He tells us in His glorious Word, not to be afraid, not to be anxious, to be still, to seek Him, to trust Him. He gives us no fear---that is from someone else. Do you know that? I do, but being completely honest here, I don't always live like I know it. In the dark of night, when I'm awake and no one else is, when there are creaks in the house and Chad is out of town, when he's out of town and I worry about other things, when one of our boys is sick, when we have to find a place to live, when money doesn't grow on trees, when schools aren't all equal, when we get a diagnosis that our precious baby will have Down syndrome, when I have no clue what that means or how it will change our family--and fearing all of the above--that is not living how the Lord wants me to live. I know that. I know that I am human too--we all are, and I am not beating myself up about it, but trying to remember all I need to remember. . .He loves us. More than anyone ever can or will. He showed us that thousands of years ago when he died on the cross and rose again!!! He made me to love Him and glorify Him through all that I do. And that is what I am praying daily--that I can do that for Him--after all He has done for me!

--and on a lighter note, the Jackson house is never boring. I'm here pondering why in the world things get put into holes in bodies that don't belong there. For example, my 6.5 year old, just today, decided to put a piece of a plastic bag into his ear. Sure enough, he couldn't get it out. Go figure. Neither could I and per suggestion via our pediatrician, the water I poured into his ear didn't remove it either. So, $25 later, after using a "grabber" our pediatrician was able to remove the plastic. She then told him that $25 was more than he had in his piggy bank (she was right) and that he might need to do some chores around the house to pay us back. After she gave him a gentle lecture on what holes are not appropriate to put items in!!! Not a bad idea. Now off to ponder how he can help us out!

back with news and beach pics

Hello? (hello . . .hello)
Anybody out there? (out there. . .out there)

Probably just me, writing for my family and to try to get some kind of a creative outlet flowing. It's been a whirlwind around here. Oh wait. I think I mentioned that a few posts back. Well, we're still here and still in a whirlwind! Chad is now recovering nicely from his surgery and we're still hopeful it worked! Miles has surgery on Thursday--his adenoids are being removed. I mean, I think he didn't want his older brothers to feel bad if he was the only sibling to not have his adenoids out, so he decided to go for it. Sweet thing obviously has no clue as he's only about to be 18 months, but we're praying this surgery goes smoothly too!

We've been immersed in prayer around here, as we always should be. However, this time around we've been praying for our new little baby on the way. Just last week, or maybe it's been a smidge over a week now, we got results back from some testing, that our precious one on the way has Down syndrome. It has come as a shock, as I am sure it does for all who receive this news, and we've been flooded with emotions of all kinds. BUT, I cannot express enough, just how much love and support we are feeling from family and friends and how confident we are in the Lord and His plan. It appears right now, that our baby BOY, (oh, did I mention that baby #4 is a BOY? and we are thrilled!!) has fluid around his heart. Pericardial effusion they call it. So, we will be keeping a close eye on that the remainder of my pregnancy. The fluid is not supposed to be there and it needs to be monitored. So monitor we will do! I'm sure I will be writing more about lots of things, but for now, since it's been so sporadic that I've been blogging lately (and I'm hoping to be more consistent as I've been in the past now), I will share some pics from our sweet time at the beach last week!

I've come to find out over the years, just how much little boys need to expel energy! The beach is the perfect way to do it! Run their little hearts out, they did and we loved watching it! I love how Luke is just enjoying the view during his run---dreaming about being a marine biologist!

And check out Charlie here. Doesn't this pic make you start humming the Chariots of Fire theme song?

Miles, you probably won't remember this beach trip, but you loved it! Your favorite part was roaming up and down the beach in the sand---not too close to the waves. But once you saw your brothers and Daddy playing in the water, you became braver! The soft baby pool filled with water suited you just fine as you watched all the parasailers and excitedly called out "boon" for balloon as each and every one of them passed by!

And I so love this pic and can't wait to frame it! Yes, our children bicker and get frustrated with each other, but I love moments like this, when they all play so lovingly together. . .doesn't the beach just do that to us all??

I love our Jackson 5 and can't believe that in 20 weeks (or less?) we will be the Jackson 6!

 We are truly blessed!

Thanks Mimi and Grandpa (Mom and Dad) for letting us crash your vacation and come soak up some relaxing and fun times with you at the beach! We all love you!

making progress

Let's pretend it's not already February, shall we? Okay, so since it's only January, I'm feeling a little better. Wait, what? I can't pretend with time? Darn it!

Okay, so it's February, and it's already a week into February. And, no, our house is still not listed yet. We first met with our realtors on Dec. 31st. We thought a month to declutter and organize was plenty of time to get a house ready to put on the market. It might have been until travel, sickness and just a whole bunch of life happened! We've made progress though and my sweet friends have pitched in and helped out! My friend, Jennifer, came over one night while Chad was out of town and helped me completely revamp my pantry. 3 trash bags and a donation bag later, and you've never seen a pantry so amazing!! It's incredible! I know where everything is and there is room now for what used to be on top of our fridge! Anytime over the past week that I've felt stressed, I've just gone and opened our pantry door and realized that if this pantry was able to be clean and organized, then anything can be done!! It was quite an accomplishment--thank you, Jennifer!!! And, my friend, Candace, took time out of her day, when her kiddos were at school, to come stage our house! How fun! She completely rearranged our den and gave me hundreds of other suggestions or tips that buyers like/don't like and left me with a list to tackle! Chad and I worked this weekend to make a major dent in the process, and I'm quite pleased! Candace, you are awesome, and we are super thankful! You need to start your own business!!

So, if you followed all of that, we're so close! Although this growing baby is wearing me out, the Lord has given me just enough energy to "nest" and keep forging ahead! We're hoping for a listing date of sometime next week! Yippppeeee!! The clock is ticking!!

just gotta have it!

When I was pregnant with Luke, I craved sweets--all the time! He was due in October, and that summer before, I was wanting/needing ice cream like you can't believe! Now, as a 6 year old, while Luke's still our health nut, he leans more on the sweeter side than the salty side. When I was pregnant with Charlie, I craved salty things (which is more my normal speed anyway). Now, as a 3, almost 4 year old, Charlie prefers salt to sugar. Take yesterday, when it was time for the boys after school snack, Luke wanted Girl Scout cookies from the freezer and Charlie wanted popcorn!! Me, I wanted both and got both. Thank you very much! Now, when I was pregnant with Miles, Chad says I craved Coca-Cola and drank it a lot! I do buy caffeine-free at home, but there isn't that option when I go through a drive-thru, so I also had caffeine, which my dr. was okay with (for the record). At any rate, I can't tell yet, if Miles will be our little Coca-Cola lover, because he's never had any---nor have my older boys. Keep them away as long as possible!!

Okay, so where am I going with this? Well, if what I craved during pregnancy has an impact on what our children like now, then Baby #4 is going to like EVERYTHING!!! I am out of control! I'm really craving everything. Not at once--though yesterday was one of those days. I ate popcorn and Girl Scout cookies, a bowl full of berries and handful after handful of carrots! I'm eating pepperoncinis from the jar and I almost went crazy last night when I desperately wanted a smoothie, but didn't have the right ingredients for one. Seriously. I didn't have orange juice or frozen yogurt, so I ended up on Google searching smoothie recipes. By the way, there are some disgusting sounding smoothies out there. Yuck. I'm not a health nut smoothie drinker. My favorite way to make a smoothie is with the following ingredients. . .a banana, frozen mixed berries, frozen vanilla yogurt and orange juice. Add a little here, add a little there. Since Chad is out of town, I couldn't run out to get the ingredients I was missing and I was bummed. So I went to sleep thinking about the smoothie and woke up thinking about it. So much so that I took all 3 kiddos with me to the grocery store in the pouring down rain, for smoothie ingredients!!! Never something I would do not pregnant!

But now, I am a happy little lark. Finished one smoothie and I'm about to go down another! Just wanted to share! *** OH, and my amazing little chef-of-a-sister is about to start a food blog! Get ready!! She's awesome! I think she may even roll out her new blog next week. . .I'll be sure to link up to her! I'm her biggest fan already! Even if she couldn't help me out with smoothie recipes last night--because she hates them! What??

And one more fun tidbit of my day. . .a quote from our cheese lady at our grocery store--we love Miss Gwen. . . upon finding out I am pregant with #4 she says, "Girl, maybe you and Chad should try playing Scrabble!" Hahahaha! Hilarious!!!

Okay, off to that smoothie!!!

an announcement of sorts. . .

My hubby asked me a couple of days ago, what date it was. I told him the 16th. He informed me that at the time, it had been 11 days since I last blogged! Ahhh, yes, my blog! I do sooo enjoy blogging! I love sharing our adventures, my thoughts, memory keeping, etc. I have no plans to desert this spot! And I do appreciate how Chad loves to follow along (even though he experiences most of it daily) and gives me a little nudge here and there!
So, let me recap what in the world has kept us so busy! In no particular order. . .

#1 Little Lukey had eye surgery last week. It pretty much consumed me the few days before and the several after. The surgery, at this point, seems successful according to his dr. Praise the Lord! However, it was much harder on Luke and us, as parents, than any of us thought it would be! The anesthesia was a bear, the pain after coming out of it was rough, and now the keeping him from running and jumping for another week may do me in! It's hard to keep a 6 year old down, ya know? He's recovering quite well now, but his eyes are quite red and bloody looking. He thinks it's cool because he "looks fierce!" I'm really thankful for his perspective!!

#2 For the first time in a month and a half, we are sick. Poor little Miles is the worst. A raging ear infection and some viral something or other has him down. He can't breathe and his precious lips are dry and cracked. He has so much drainage that he is choking and throwing up. He is exhausted and just miserable. When I took this picture,

we were looking out our kitchen window at the wind chimes, which were ringing steadily, due to the wind advisories we've had over the past several days. I noticed that when it is cold and cloudy and rainy outside, the wind chimes sound melancholy to me. Yet, when it is sunny and the wind chimes are tinkling, I think they sound cheerful and they appear to look like they are happily dancing in the breeze. Ahhhh, isn't that a perspective on life? The first day Miles was sick, I remember telling Chad, "Wow. I know he's sick, but praise the Lord that no one has been sick for a month and a half!" The very next day, I was bummed out because Miles was so miserable. I wasn't feeling thankful at all. I'm re-reading, my very favorite book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, with a couple of friends. In it, she ponders how often we are thankful for only the good the Lord gives us (how easy it is), and not thankful for the bad (what a sacrifice that can be). I'm thankful to be reminded of this, because in the trenches of life (and ours isn't too deep) sometimes I forget!

#3 I think I mentioned in my last post (13 days ago), that we have decided to move. We want to be closer to church and schools. It's been in our thoughts for a while, but what put a fire under us, is actually what's in us (or who's in me, rather). . .

#4 and yes, I saved #4 to announce that our #4 is on his or her way!!! Shocker of all shockers, but we are beyond excited! He or she is obviously in the Lord's plan for our family, and why would we want anything different? So we think life is a little crazy and a LOT blessed now, but imagine what life will be like at the beginning of August?? A whole lot crazier and blessed more than we can dream!!

to find out or not?

***Just wanted to give an update! Thanks for all of your thoughts and votes. Turns out, we did not find out the sex of our baby--though I am leaning "boy" based on a small thing our ultrasound girl said. Also to be noted--Luke, who has said he wants a sister, now thinks we are having a boy too. Not sure why, but it's what he's saying at this point. We're halfway through---20 more weeks (or so) to meet our new precious baby!

Okay, so I thought Chad and I had this thing figured out (and I really think we still do), but it came up in conversation the other night, that at our upcoming ultasound on Monday, we may still be up in the air on finding out the sex of our baby. I'll spare you all of the details on how this went down, but we were NOT going to find out, and now we might. Might. Maybe. Not sure.

Just to give you our history. . .we did NOT find out with Luke and it was awesome! That amazing moment of hearing the words, "It's a BOY" (or girl) after waiting a long 9.5 months is incredible! Even though everyone was telling us we were having a boy, and I believed them, it was just amazing. So, with #2, we weren't going to find out again. However, much like our debate right now, we changed our mind last minute and we DID find out with Charlie. I must say, that was incredible too! I loved every minute of picking out his name and talking to him and praying for him knowing he was a boy!

Here we are, for probably our last time (I only say probably, because if I really tell my pregnant brain this is our last baby, then I might get crazy emotional--even though it really, probably is . . .you get the point) and we are in question once again! What to do?

So I'm putting up a poll, for my 10 readers. It's on the side of our blog (in case you only read in Google Reader--go to our site). If you were us, what would you do? I want to hear good solid reasons for your vote!!! Help!!!!!

***And just a side note, of the 11 people I know that are coming to mind, who are all pregnant, 3 will not find out, 3 will find out and 5 already found out and are having boys! So sorry, if I missed any friends who are having girls!!

oh how our garden is growing!

Everywhere around me lately, people are talking about the vegetable gardens they have started or are continuing to grow this year. I am quite envious that a) they know how to grow it and b) they have the energy and time to start a garden! I definitely do not have either of those right now. Like many things, I'd like to just snap my fingers, and voila have beautiful tomatoes growing on a vine or stalk or whatever they grow on, appear in my backyard!

However, though I'm not growing anything in my backyard, as many of you know, I am (rather the Lord is) growing something inside of me! And from the looks of it, we may just have our own little veggie afterall!

When we first found out we were pregnant with Baby #3, he or she was the size of  a poppy seed. . .

We told the boys about our little veggie at 8 weeks, when he/she was the size of a kidney bean. . .

We started telling family and a few others around 9 weeks, when he/she was the size of a grape. . .

And now, upon reaching week 18, our little veggie is looking quite like a bell pepper!!!

Oh how our garden is growing!!!

quick update

I thought I'd be able to post before we left for those tropical islands I mentioned, but getting us ready to leave and trying to spend maximum time with Luke and Chad's parents before we left, made it impossible.

So, while Chad is getting ready for the beach (I'm ready and waiting), I thought I'd make it up to those of you who are our faithful blog readers by sharing our exciting news!!!!! Drum roll. . . .

I know it's blurry, but I'm hoping you can see our exciting news!!! Yes, we are expecting Baby #2 in early April 2008!!!! We are thrilled and feel so blessed! That's all for now. Next to come. . . pictures from Hawaii!!