Friday, May 20, 2011

sap. (not the tree kind)

I'm a mess. Sappy and tired. I started out May up and running and it's nearing the end and I'm almost down for the count. We just had Luke's end of the year program and it took everything in me to hold back tears when I talked to his teacher as we left. She was amazing, truly loved our little boy this year, taught him well and gave him so much more confidence than he had at the beginning of the year. This JK year was so special, full of wonderful memories. And now, though summer is here (and we love it) I am already missing this sweet year and looking ahead to big-time Kindergarten with a little bit of dread. My first baby will be going to school ALL day next year. No more half-days where we can have Mommy/Lukey time or go on playdates with friends. I mean, I know there will be those days--holidays, etc., but this was it and I am a mess.

I really am considering moving to a farm and homeschooling my boys. They can rise at the crack of dawn and go feed the animals with Chad (who of course will have to become a farmer), come back in for breakfast and then get ready for studies while Chad works in the fields. I can keep them with me and teach them about what we want them to learn and Who we want them to learn about. We won't have to get in the car to go anywhere and the boys can play outside exploring every bug and insect they choose or pretend our fields are huge oceans they can sail in! Aaaahhhhhh!!! My dear friend, Rebecca, who is moving away from us this summer (and thus another reason I am so sappy) painted us this beautiful painting for our entryway, based on my ramblings to her of this new farmlife dream of mine. Tell me you don't want to move here and isn't she awesome?? When she opens her own business or sells more of her paintings, I'll be sure to let you know!

Anyway, when I get in my mushy moods, I tend to withdraw and want to hole up. I think this farm would be a good place to do so. I feel like if I lived on a farm I would have all the time in the world to dream and plan about raising our boys to know the Lord, which has just really been on my heart all the more lately. I know, in fact, that living on a farm would not be that way at all. It would be far tougher than anything I am used to! I am romanticizing that life for sure. I did read something today (which happen to be written by a farmers' wife raising 4 children) that really encouraged me. It's a beautiful viewpoint on being a Mommy, raising children and serving the Lord. It was just what I needed as I wanted to crawl into my cocoon and escape the end of the year, children growing older, and friends moving on mushy moments I am having.

Regroup. Reenergize. Refocus--on my purpose in life--to glorify the Lord in all that I do!


Molly Witherington said...

I loved this post and loved the link - thanks! I feel the same way you do about the farm sometimes. Although sometimes mine isn't a farm, it's the mission field in Zambia or somewhere crazy like that. As if that life would be so much easier than East Memphis - ha! But I totally know what you're saying... to get away from the hustle and rush and pressures of our culture. But I was thinking about that recently and struck with how arrogant I am to think that by getting away I would be able to raise my kids to be like Him any better. As if the things that keep me from being able to do that exist OUTSIDE of me, when really my biggest hurdle lies in my own heart. But His spirit can overcome that, even here in crazy, success/academia/good looks-driven Memphis. And I pray He will because I, as much as I hate it, fall prey to the drive to be successful, smart, beautiful, and wealthy as much as the next person!!!

Candace Echols said...

I know just what you mean! I've thought that many times myself. Miss you! Let's get together soon!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...