Wednesday, July 23, 2014

When it's easy to go, but hard to leave. . .

It has now been 3 weeks since my return from Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, which means it has been over 5 weeks since I left to go. There hasn't been a day since my return that I haven't thought about or talked about my trip. The trip changed me. Maybe that shouldn't be all that shocking, but it has been for me. Hubby was thrilled for me to go. He knew I would be changed and learn and grow. I kinda kept thinking, "Eeesh! Lots of pressure, here. Don't be disappointed if that doesn't happen!" I also didn't want to have expectations of me or surrounding me, in case I was let down. That isn't a typical "me" reaction. I usually do have and set expectations of most everything in life--not really caring about the fact that I could be disappointed or let down. Sometimes I am, sometimes not. For this trip, however, I was a little guarded from the out-set.

But leave it to my wise Hubby to know exactly the way to send me off! He nailed it when he told me that he was excited for me to go for all the things I would learn, but especially because . . .and here's the kicker. . ."You cling too tightly to the boys and me. You need to be clinging to the Lord even more." HELLO! Wow. It was so true and a little painful, but so true! I am incredibly thankful for the wisdom my wise hubby shared with me and for all the prayers that surrounded me on my trip--especially for those who were praying for my peace as I left my family behind for 2+ weeks!

Back at the end of May, we had a family trip to the beach. What a place for our souls to rest and our family to connect!
I missed these little buddies and my hubby too, but I am thankful for what the Lord taught me while I was away from them. They were okay without me, and that's a good thing. They were also happy to see me when I returned! Sweet little Miles said 15 times the first night, "I'm so happy to see you! I love you!" And that's a good thing too! A couple of days after I returned a friend was asking about my trip and if I would return. Luke or Charlie chimed in with,"I hope not. I don't want you to go again." I get that, understand it, and melt a little too. But I also pray in time that they will grasp, as the Lord leads, we follow.





As I'm coming away from this trip, I'm learning about abiding. What does it mean for me to rest in Him? What does it look like to rely solely on Him and cling to Him? John 15 is the perfect place for me right now. I'm thankful for my trip to Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan and the friends I was with, new and old, who joined me as I started this journey (just for you, Honey, wink, wink) and especially the Lord as He has taught me what clinging to Him can bring!

1 comment :

Missi Jacobus said...

Sweet friend! How beautifully these words of your heart fall on your friend's ears that has prayed specifically for these things! I am challenged by your abandon to Him and encouraged in faith to continue to pray as He continues to gently strip away our false lifelines. Love & miss you!

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