Saturday, February 15, 2014

How Christmas lights + Valentine's Day = speaking love to your husband!

Are you a little relieved that Valentine's Day is over?  Me too.

I must say that I do love "Love Day" but this year wore me out. With the several trips to Target, buying Valentine's cards for 3 of our boys classrooms, as well as providing snacks for 2 of the classrooms, I was just spent. And of course, I wanted to make Valentine's cards for the boys and give them a "heart attack" (I was up late sticking hearts on their door with messages of why they are special to us) and arrange their little "happies" on the dining room table to greet them at breakfast! We do these things to shower love on our littles. We want them to know they are loved. It's just that all of it just tuckered me out this year.

But what about our husbands? The man in our life. Do you go all out for him? Did you make sure he knew that you loved him? Or had you spent all of your energy elsewhere? Sometimes we get caught up in providing for and taking care of our children that we forget to show our husbands love too. Or perhaps, we get wrapped up in Valentine's and the commercial side of the holiday and just expect him to do the showering of the love.  

Sometimes, we tend to think it's all about us. Trust me, this is not intended to put anymore guilt on you than you already put on yourself. If you are a Mommy, you know what I mean. Instead, I want to be encouraging, because I know I've done that too. Stay with me.

My hubby was out of town for Valentine's Day. He left a couple of days before Heart Day. And you know, I didn't even think to stick a love note in his suitcase before he left. But he did think to melt me from a distance and sent me a bouquet of roses AND a little blue box! My hubby isn't a mushy-feely-emotional type of guy, but he knows I am a mushy-feely-emotional girl, and he knows things to do that are sentimental or that I appreciate or that translate to love for me. Sometimes for me, because he isn't built like me, it's hard to think of how I can show him I love him. So, you wanna  know what I did?

I put away the Christmas lights! WOW!! Amazingly romantic, right? Here's how it went down.

The other day, my friend was dropping off our boys from school and we were chatting in the front yard. The boys were on the porch and I noticed, yet again, that our 6 long strands of Christmas lights were still in piles on our porch. Hello? It's mid-February. It's definitely not the first time I noticed them. I usually check the mail everyday. Our children come home from school through our front door 2 out of 5 days a week, not to mention having friends drop by or deliveries during the day. I've seen those Christmas lights every single day since they were taken down before New Years. Still in piles.

Why haven't I done anything about them until now? I'll tell you. Because I am selfish. See, one of my Christmas tasks is to decorate the inside of our house at Christmas, including putting the lights on our Christmas tree. Hubby's job is to put the Christmas lights up outside our house (amongst other things). But because I put the tree lights up and take them down, I expect him to take the Christmas lights down and put them away. But this year, they were taken down and left in piles on our front porch. There was a good reason they were left there that day, I'm sure. He was probably busy being the wonderful Daddy that he is and thought he'd get to them later. And then life got busy. Sometimes other things take priority.

But then later came and I looked at the piles and thought, I'll wait for him to do it. It's his job.How many times could I have already done it? Lots. But I was selfish. Not pretty.

So, when my friend and I were talking, and I confessed to her why the piles of Christmas lights were still there, I decided right then, that this would be an act of service out of love for my husband. A Valentine's present to him, while he was out of town!

Please don't hear what I'm not saying. Please hear we need to love on our husbands. Most of the time, that comes by showing them respect. That will look different for your husband, or fiance than it will for mine. It's vital that you try to figure out what that looks like though. After 13+ years of marriage, I'm still trying to nail down what that is. I know it can look different at different stages, but I know that being respectful and serving him and listening to my husband is how I speak love to him.

Are you "speaking" love to your husband? 
If you missed the mark on Valentine's Day, every day is really a day to love. Keep trying! 
I bet he will accept your love any and every day of the year!

 Sweet Hubby--I love you! Thank you for loving me even when I fail to show you love the way you need it most! Thank you for serving our family and "speaking" love to ALL of us! We are beyond blessed to have you as the man in our lives! Thank you for loving our Lord and for teaching us to love like him. Still Always. . .


Simply LKJ said...

Such a sweet post Lindley. Yes, sometimes the unexpected everyday gestures really do mean the most. I am sure he was very appreciative of you taking the time to finish a task that normally falls on him.

lindley said...

Thanks Lauren! it wasn't supposed to be about me, but more about how I'm thankful the Lord showed me just a little way I can show my Hubby that I love him--by being less selfish and serving him--and encouraging someone who may need reminding (like myself) to save energy and love for our husbands like we do for our littles! :)

Molly Witherington said...

February just plain wears me out. Kate's bday the 8th, Valentines, Rainer's bday the 22nd, Hunter's bday the 29th (which means he technically doesn't have one this year, but we still celebrate;) Anyway, I spend most of the month stressed out, annoyed with cleaning up wrapping paper, finding places for the new "junk" that us and the grandparents give them, and feeling like crap about myself b/c of all the sugar I ingest while baking cookies and cakes (which I love to do). So, while I love February, I'm ready for it to be over.

I'm dying at the xmas lights being such a love act. Hunter traveled a lot in January and I felt like I had hung the moon for him when he came home from Austin one day and I had undecorated the tree, taken the lights off, drug the tree out to the curb, gotten all the xmas decor to the attic, and vacuumed all the frazer fir needles. I mean, wife of the year!?!?

The one who showed us the most love this year was Hunter's mom, who kept the kids while we went to sakura and the tennis tourney:)

Anonymous said...

Love it!!


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