Tuesday, November 15, 2011

all I need.

Ahhhhhhhhh! That's not a scream. Just a deep sigh. So thankful for all the noises that come from within my house, but also very thankful for the peace and quiet of this moment. Around 5 this evening, as I let dinner simmer, I went to give Milesy a bath and let my oldest beggars watch a show. While bathing baby, unbeknownst to me, our Beagle decided to jump up to the counter and grab down a bag of green apples. She, of course, took them straight under the kitchen table on our newish rug to eat them. So, after I came out from bathing baby, I find her nearly choking on an apple core, and bits of ground in apple + juice on the rug. Uggghhh! There was only 1 apple left in the bag and there were 4 to begin with. Guess the other 2 apples were eaten whole!

As soon as I attempted to take care of the rug and send Mocha outside, baby pipes up as he tends to do at this hour. I see that the phone rang while I was bathing baby and return my parents call---don't know why--because baby is still crying. Scratch that. I do know why--because he won't stop crying and my parents needed me to call them back. So, I call them, while I am stirring dinner and frantically trying to get it ready for Chad, who is coming home for dinner and boys bedtime, only to go back out with a work get together. But, as I am trying to hear my Dad on the phone, my oldest 2 littles are bombarding me with questions like, "Did you see that, Mommy?" and "Mom, which bird of prey is your favorite? Mom? Mom!" (because I am ignoring him). So I get frustrated and yell, "Boys, stop talking!" I immediately know I shouldn't have yelled, while I am also embarassed that I yelled into the phone as I am talking to my parents. I'm quite convinced they think I've lost it. And, as I am talking to them (for only 3 minutes as all of this is happening), my hubby beeps in. I don't answer because I am wrapping up with my parents and he calls my cell. So, there's a baby crying, 2 children yelling, dinner simmering, me talking on the phone, my cell phone ringing and Mocha scratching at the door to come inside. Chaos. Pure chaos. I return Chad's missed call and he sweetly asks me how things are. I tell him. In a not so nice way. And then he tells me he's running late (not his fault) and I get short with him. We hang up. Awesome. So, I pull myself inside my brain to turn off all the noise and think, "Wow! This is crazy. Right now. This is insane. Right now. What am I supposed to be learning right now? And I know the Lord just wanted me to come to Him and throw my hands up and say, "I can't do this right now. Take it please!" But, I only thought to call Chad back and apologize for being short. I thought I can fix the rest of this.

But I couldn't. Minutes later, before he got home and dinner was getting cold there was more chaos. I was still crabby when he got home. I apologized again. I had to apologize again to my boys as well. I had to apologize yet again before Chad left. Ahhhhhhhh. Humbling, for sure.

So I learned that this evening was a good reminder of a verse that is being etched in my heart daily. . .

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thank you, Lord, for making me weak, so I can see that your grace is all I need!

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